Ender's War

Chapter 13 - New Recruits

He paused before he continued.

"Well, yeah he did, I'm not trying to expunge his sins. He did terrible things to me and he continues to do awful things, but Val, I'm okay with that. What will it take for you to realize that?"

"Nothing." Valentine looked at her little brother, heartbreak evident in her eyes. "Because as long as I'm with you, I'll live in that fantasy that you want to forget, and I will keep trying to make it a reality until finally, one day, it is. I understand that this is what you have to do, but it would make me feel a whole lot better if you were going into battle with your head screwed on straight! This rational, as true as it is, is stupid! You need to have something else to live for, Ender! Even if it's just wanting the people you care about alive and happy! Something! Because without a purpose, you'll find yourself in the midst of a battle, and you're going to let yourself die. Do you know why? It'll be because you don't care. You'll have given up everything that's worth living for. You may think that being apart for years made you a complete stranger to me, but you're forgetting that, deep down, I still know you Ender! And I won't stand by and watch as you descend into a hole that you can't get yourself out of."

"I would never willingly die in battle! I'm not insane! And I wouldn't die when the world needs me alive to save them."

"My point exactly!" Valentine fumed. "Right now the best interest of the world is that you live, so you'll live. What if one day, the best thing for the world would be if you died? I'm sure with your attitude you'd die, wouldn't you? Because even though you have people who would be absolutely crushed, you only care about humanity as a whole! Not your family, or yourself for that matter!"

"Enough of this!" Ender yelled. Valentine knew that she was getting somewhere, since if she wasn't right, he wouldn't be getting angry at her.

"I'm only stating the truth. If you want to forget about everything important and focus on the war, by all means. But don't you dare think for one second that I'm okay with it. Because at the end of the day, if you decide that nothing is more important, and you die, you'll be hurting me! And even though you won't be here to know it, I will tell you now. You'll destroy me, and I will never forgive you for that."

The words stung like daggers as they pierced into Ender's heart. Valentine wasn't wrong. Then again, she hardly ever was, but he never imagined that she could hurt him as much as she just did.

"Why can't you just let me do this? If not for me, but for mother, father, and even Peter?"

She laughed, a stone cold cackle. "You still don't get it. I don't care if you go off and fight. What I care about is if there'll be anything left of you afterwards."

"You know that isn't up to me to decide. I can't help it if I'm murdered!"

"Yeah, but you can go in there knowing that you'll have a place in the world after it's over!" She hissed.

The resemblance between her and Peter, was almost frightening. She used the same malicious tone, had the same fiery look in her eyes, and appeared ready to kill. So much so, Ender took a step back. Valentine seemed to realize this and softened.

"Just, remember that when you win, you can have a family and a life here. That is what's important, and most importantly, that's what you deserve."

Ender dropped his slight defence, realizing the ridiculousness of it, and couldn't help but show a hint of a smile. He knew that Valentine was right, and if he was being honest, she had just saved him from doing something he would've regretted. He knew that she was too good for him, but he inwardly thanked her, even if he didn't show any gratitude.