The Transfer: A Glee Fanfiction

Chapter 6

“Rachel,” Mr. Shue said after she just stood there silently for a moment, unsure of how to begin. “What is this about?”

Rachel took another deep breath before launching into her monologue. “Well, I’m happy that you would say that the group shouldn’t rely on me at Regionals, because...well, I’m not really sure how to say this, but...you can’t rely on me at Regionals, because I won’t be here.”

Looks of confusion passed over everyone’s faces, and when they started to mumble about what the hell she was talking about, Rachel raised her hands to silence them. “Let me explain. As all of you know, I was in a bit of a...err...skirmish last week,”  she gestured to the bruises on her face. “This wasn’t the first time I’ve been harassed here, and these certainly aren’t the first bruises I’ve gotten in these halls. For a long time, I’ve sat back and let this happen to me. I’ve let myself be terrified to come to school every day, afraid of what would happen to me if I did. Well, enough is enough,” she said, lifting her chin just a fraction of an inch. “I’m sick of being pushed around, and I’m sick of having my flaws pointed out everyday by people’s cruel words.

“Last week was the final straw. My fathers and I decided that I wasn’t safe here like I should be, and I’m not going to sit around and wait for a change that will never come.” She paused for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts and emotions, breathing deeply and slowly.

Now, Rachel. Tell them now.

Before she began doubting herself again, Rachel spit out what she had to say.

“I’ve made the decision to transfer to a different school. Today is my last day here.”

It was silent for a moment. Everyone was staring at Rachel in shock and disbelief. She turned to thank Mr. Shue just as she’d planned, and before she could get a word out of her mouth, the room erupted in indistinguishable yelling.

“What the hell do you mean, transfer?” Mercedes shouted over the noise.

“I mean, I’m leaving McKinley,” Rachel said. “I’ve been left no other choice.”

Rachel tried to tune out Santana’s angry comments about how awful Rachel was to leave so close to Regionals when they would need her, how selfish and cowardly she was being, but they words still stabbed at her like knives. She didn’t dare look at Finn, but she could feel his eyes burning into her like the 25,000 watt spotlights at Carmel. The shouting got louder, accusations flying from every corner of the room; Rachel could single out a few voices, including Puck, Mercedes, Artie, and even Tina, who was usually silent through every meeting. She couldn’t stay here and listen to everyone yell at her, so she simply ignored them and directed her attention to Mr. Shue.

“Thank you, Mr. Shue, for being such an amazing teacher,” she said, trying to put all of her heart into her words. “You are one of the only good things about McKinley, and you’ll continue to inspire me every day I’m gone. So just…thank you.” She turned and practically ran from the room before he could respond.

She needed to get out of here. She needed to escape her friends’ jeering shouts about how she’d guaranteed them a loss at Regionals. What they were saying only made her more sure of her choice to leave. They didn't care about her; they only cared about her talent. She was nothing more to them than a voice that would bring them to New York. Rachel felt tears burn her eyes. She couldn’t stay in this school a second longer. She felt constricted, like she couldn’t breath, and she knew that leaving this wretched building would take the strangling pressure off her lungs.

“Hey!” she heard his voice yell from behind her. This was the confrontation that she had been dreading all weekend. She considered running out the door and leaving him here, avoiding this conversation completely, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t just leave without saying goodbye. And besides, he deserved an explanation. She blinked the tears from her eyes and turned to face him, looking just slightly to the left of his head, not wanting to meet his gaze.

“What is it, Finn?” Rachel asked, to words shaky in her throat.

“What is it?”  he asked, his voice incredulous and angry. Rachel didn’t realize that he had been moving towards her until he was only a foot in front of her. “Why didn’t you talk to me about this before you decided to leave? I thought that you would’ve trusted me enough-”

“Finn, this has nothing to do with how much I trust you,” she interrupted him, her voice sharper than she expected. “I didn’t say anything to you because this isn’t any of your business. This was my choice to make.”

Finn dragged his fingers through his hair, his frustration evident. “I can’t believe you’re just...running away,” he said, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “This is so not you, Rach. You’re stronger than this. If you leave, you’re just letting them win, showing them that they beat you.”

“That’s just it, Finn,” Rachel said, her eyes tearing up again. “They did.” She heard her voice break on the last word. The tears spilled over and raced down her cheeks. She didn’t even move to wipe them away.

“I get it,” he said his voice softening slightly. “We all get picked on. We know what it’s like to feel this way-”

“No, you don’t,” Rachel said. She felt anger beginning to rise in the pit if her stomach, anger at her 'friends', anger at her school, and anger at herself for being so weak. She didn't want to take her anger out on Finn, but she had to get rid of this awful boiling in her blood. “None of you have any idea what it’s like to be me, especially you.” She jabs her finger in his direction. “You are a legend here. The worst you ever get is the occasional slushie or a little harassment in the locker room. Everyone respects you too much to do anymore than that. I’ve been dealing with much worse for much longer than you, Finn. I was getting slushied back when you and Puck were the ones dishing them out.”

“I never did anything like that!” Finn yelled, hurt by the implied accusation. “And things are different now. We’re friends, and we’re there for you-”

“You say that, but when was the last time you, or anyone else, actually stood up for me?” The tears kept falling down her face, burning as the salt got in her cut. “Sure, you never participated directly when your ‘football friends’ would torture me, but you were always there. You watched them tease me everyday, but you were too worried about your reputation to do anything about it, just like you were with Kurt. Even now, when you tell me how we’re friends and how I should trust you and talk to you, you’ve never tried to stand up for me. Not even when we were dating. And you know what, Finn?” She could hear the venom in her words, but she couldn’t stop them from rolling off her tongue. “I’m glad that you didn’t. It’s so much easier to leave McKinley knowing that you never cared about me that much, anyway.”

Rachel turned on her heel and practically ran away from him. He was too shocked and hurt by her words to chase after her, and before he could come back to his senses, she was gone.