We Will Be Together For Never

[24] A Ride Home

The next few days passed in a somber blur. I continued to wear the mask of good emotion I had created at Sasha's house as I worked through my classes, completing all of my homework on time and studying for upcoming tests. While before, I had pushed the stress of schoolwork to the back of my mind and unraveled under the more imminent issue of controlling my vampiric urges, now I clutched to the school-induced urgency, wanting it to ground me, keep me focused.

Around me, my friends chattered with genuine excitement. Along with the student-run party happening this weekend, the junior prom had been moved months back due to scheduling complications at the revenue in which it was to be hosted, meaning that it would take place in two weeks. Everyone except those already in relationships - like Christian and Derek - was scrambling to find dates and outfits.

Throughout the couple of days leading up to the party, Jordan continued to be a bright spot in my life. He would keep me engaged in class and soon, I found he was the only one who could make me actually laugh. I began looking forward even more to our time together, eagerly anticipating the corny jokes and insightful suggestions about our project that Jordan would offer. I even managed to get two interviews - Sasha and Sapphire - completed, giving us good material for our project.

Finally, the last bell rang on Friday, and I hurried to the parent pickup area. Frowning, I glanced down the line of waiting vehicles and then further, into the parking lot. I couldn't see Roger's car anywhere.

I pulled out my phone to text him when I saw that he had beaten me to it a half hour ago: "Complications at work. You need to find another way home. I won't be back until LATE. Sorry :("

Sighing, I shoved my cell back into my pocket and looked around, trying to hide my growing  panic. I couldn't just ask some random student to give me a ride home, all of my friends were likely gone by now, and the last of the buses were just pulling out of the parking lot - not that I knew which one would take me home anyway.

I was stranded.

I took a deep breath, turned around, and headed back into the school building. Directly inside, a sports group of some sort was gathering. Judging by their attire, it was likely the cross country team. They were chattering with one another, the different conversations mingling to create one big buzz of noise.

The sounds and smells very quickly became too much for me. I could feel every fiber of my clothing scraping abrasively over my skin. It was overwhelming. I could feel an anxiety attack approaching.

I turned in a circle, unsure of where to go. The cross country team was blocking the path to my locker. Finally, I took a deep breath, tensed with dreaded anticipation, and dove into the crowd of kids. Soon, I was on the other side, beginning to shake from all of the physical contact as I clattered down the stairs and collapsed against the wall in an empty hallway. Pressing my palms into my eyes, I took deep breaths that did nothing to steady my heart rate and struggled with my nausea. It was just too much. It was all too much. I hugged my knees to my chest and buried my face in them.

"Hey." 

I jumped at the simple word, removing my head from my knees. Glancing up, I saw Jordan standing over me, looking concerned. 

"Are you okay?"

I shook my head, sighing. It was too late. Now he would know.

"What's going on? What's wrong?" he asked, dropping into a crouch beside me.

"Nothing. I..." I sighed again. I had to tell him the truth. "I get...panic attacks. And anxiety attacks. And sometimes everything just gets to be too much for me. The noise...the light...the textures..." I swallowed, feeling another wave of panic beginning to wash over me.