We Will Be Together For Never

[6] Getting to the Lunchroom

After American Lit, there was a forty-minute block of what was basically study hall. Instead of being truly free, however, all of the students were assigned classrooms that they had to report to, and were strictly not allowed to leave the school during this time unless we had an open campus permit. Since I was new, I didn't have one yet. Not that I could have gone anywhere if I did - after all, I didn't even have a bike to my name.

At my old school, juniors and seniors got open campus automatically, I thought sourly as I walked to my classroom. I sighed, massaging my forehead. It had been a long day, and it was doing nothing but remind me of what I had lost. After all, I had already learned the material we had been taught.

After checking in with my teacher so he wouldn't mark me absent, I headed to my locker to grab my lunch and the books and binders I would need for my afternoon classes.

As I reached down to grab my lunch, I felt a familiar numbness spreading through my body, starting in my stomach. What the hell? I thought as waves of nausea started to hit. Usually, my panic attacks came only when prompted. I had just been fetching my lunch!

Slamming my locker shut, I ran to the bathroom, pushing kids out of the way as I did so and bumping one kid nearly completely into his open locker. I didn't dare open my mouth to apologize, however - I knew that if I did, I would throw up, and puke that was purely blood would be a little hard to explain to...everyone.

I ducked into the girls' bathroom and slammed a stall door behind me. Dropping to my knees in front of the toilet, I dry heaved, tears running down my face as my body started to shake. I clung to the toilet bowl, as unsanitary as it was, and failed at attempting to calm down.

"Are you okay?" asked a voice from outside.

"Fine," I managed through clenched teeth, knowing I sounded anything but.

"Do you need me to...get anyone?"

A crazy part of me begged for Sapphire or Sasha - anyone, as long as they were a friendly face. "No," I snapped at the well-meaning girl, whoever she was.

"Okay. Good luck," she said awkwardly, and I heard the door shut as she exited.

I pressed myself against the wall of the bathroom and sobbed.

*

Since I had checked in with my teacher, I didn't technically have to return to the classroom. I was pretty sure. Even if my absence was noted - which I'm sure it wouldn't be, since I was new and unremarkable (at least outwardly) - I would leave Roger to clean up the mess. He was the indirect cause of it, after all.

I spent the rest of the forty minutes of free time recovering from my attack in the bathroom. Once I finally managed to stop crying and my muscles relaxed, aching from their continual shaking, I gripped the sides of one of the sinks, staring into the mirror distastefully at my blotchy complexion.

It was an aspect about myself that I had carried from my human life into my vampire one - and it was one of few. I had always been oddly pale - even more so after becoming a vampire, obviously - and whenever I cried, my face would become blotchy with red patches. Trust me, my face became blotchy fairly often.

My black eyes were bloodshot. It was an oddly beautiful combination, the black, white, and red intertwining to form a morbid color palette.

I splashed water on my face and took deep, calming breaths until my face paled to its normal complexion. Then, I turned back into the stall, grabbed my backpack from where I had plopped it on the floor, and left the bathroom.

Just as I left, the bell rang to signal the change from the study hall of sorts to lunchtime. I hurried to my locker and grabbed my packed lunch from it. And then I was faced with a slight problem.

I didn't know where the lunchroom was.

I dug in my backpack, where I had placed my map earlier. My fingers found nothing. Dammit. It could have fallen out anywhere, but the major problem to focus on at the moment was that I was now stranded in the belly of this huge school with no way of knowing how to get to the lunchroom.

I glanced around, wondering who to ask. All of the kids pouring out of classrooms around me either spared me only a glance or paid me no mind at all.

Then Jordan rounded the corner, head of brown hair turned toward the floor, earbuds in.

I took a deep breath, summoned my courage, and tapped his shoulder as he passed.

He jumped slightly, his head jerking up to look at me in surprise as he took out one of his earbuds so quickly that I was sure it was a knee-jerk reaction gained from countless teachers yelling at him. I got the feeling not a lot of people ever even looked at him, let alone interacted with him twice in four hours.

"I'm sorry, but where's the lunchroom?" I asked, embarrassed because of his overreaction.

Jordan pointed down one hall. "Take a right when you get to the fork, walk until you get to the locker rooms, then..." He trailed off, glancing back at me. "Actually, just come with me." He turned away from me and started down the hallway without another word or gesture. I hurried to follow him.

"Thank you," I said as we walked, him with his head dropped again, but one earbud still out to show he was listening. "I had a map, but I lost it."

"It seems like a big school when you first get here, but it's not, really," he assured me, every word dropping hesitantly, as if he wasn't even sure he wanted to be talking to me. It wasn't a reassuring feeling, but I powered onward.

"So you've been here your whole life?"

"Um, no. We moved here when I was fourteen."

"Why?"

Instantly, Jordan's shoulders stiffened and I knew I had crossed a line. I tensed up as well, waiting for his response.

"My dad's job got transferred," he practically growled, and I could tell the words were a lie.

We walked in silence the rest of the way to the lunchroom.

Once we were there, I said, "Well, thank you - " stopping abruptly as Jordan stalked off. Wow, I really upset him, I thought sadly. That hadn't been my intention at all.

Stop feeling bad, I chided myself. After all, you're only going to be here for a few more weeks, tops. Just until you can get Roger to take you out.

If you have as few friends as possible, you won't hurt as much.

I was already making a mistake with Sapphire and Sasha. I wasn't about to mess up again with Jordan.