Why I hate myself....

All I do is cause depression all I do is cause pain whenever I try to do something I screw it up whenever I try to bring happiness all I bring is depression and pain my friend has found someone and I'm happy for him..... but I'm also jealous jealous of the fact that I can never have happiness like that he has found someone that gives him happiness and I'm glad that he's friends with A person that give him happiness that's why I am going to be killing myself tonight....