Indigo (NaNoWriMo13)

Chapter 42 - Coping Mechanisms

Reader raised an eyebrow. "Do feel free to share, Shift. Really, I'm all ears."

Shift's smirk grew. He shook his head. "Don't think so. Thira and I shouldn't be the only miserable ones around here."

Reader's amusement hardened into a scowl. "I could just read your mindscape, or have you forgotten?" 

"Fine," said Shift with a shrug. He held out a hand. "Read it then. I could use a laugh right about now. I wonder if your face would invent a new shade of white." 

Athira watched, expecting Reader to take the proffered hand without hesitation. Instead, Reader stared for the space of eight heartbeats during which Shift didn't move before walking down the ramp without another word. 

"That's what I thought," muttered Shift, pulling his hand back. He turned to Athira. "You okay? Considering..."

Athira sank deeper into her cowl, finding solace in the shadow. "Doesn't matter how I am. All that matters is that we know and finding Zoe."

She made to move forward, but Shift caught her by the arm. 

"It might not mean, well, that," he said after a breath of silence. "What if it's related to your colour? Because you're the first black colour, it's marking you as its affinity, sort of like Reader was saying about the pure incarnations of colour?"

Shift's voice gained confidence with every word. His fingers slid down, entwining with hers. "It makes sense with everything you can do, doesn't it? Moving through solid objects, moving other things around and people around, it's like you're creating a portal, and that's why it's covered in colour, because it's inside the portal? Even why you can get into your mindscape when no one else can!" 

Athira stared at him. 

She wanted to believe it. It made sense in a way, but part of her was holding back. It refused to be lulled into a sense of hope yet again, only to find some other piece of evidence that contradicted it later down the line. She wasn't sure how many more times she could pick up the pieces.

Better to just leave the pieces where they are and work around the fragments.  

"The problem with that is the other seven colours are common," said Athira. She dropped his hands with a final squeeze. "Even the colourless are numerous enough for the Wardens to collect them, but black?" 

She paused, trying to find the right words to explain herself. "It's just me, Shift. Me, Athira, the... child of Sin, linked to Rathe by her mindscape. Even if black is the affinity for portals, like like green is change and yellow is energy, it's only because the colour was manufactured under Rathe's purpose, nothing more. I am what I am, and no amount of hoping is going to change that."

Shift frowned. "You can't give up--"

Athira stepped back, closing her cloak around her. 

"I'm not giving up," she said. "I'll keep bashing my head against the wall prophesised to be immovable until one of us falls over, but that doesn't mean I'm going to pretend it's made of jellybeans instead of cement."

Interesting way to put it, commented Talon. 

Athira made her way down the ramp, Shift close behind. Not like there's a point pretending anymore. 

Reader had situated himself against the closest corner of a nearby building with his back to the wall, attention focused on something hidden from Athira by another structure. 

He didn't notice them approaching until Shift was a few metres away, at which point Athira was already beside him. Reader put a finger to his lips before looking back to whatever it was.