A Spine-Tingling Story - TDG Fanfic

The American Dream

Ryan saved Finley's number to his phone while in the car with May-Li, as well as sending his a cursory text so that Finley had Ryan's number too. He put the business card away as soon as possible, not wanting May-Li to see it and get suspicious.

"About that Spoon Theory," May-Li began, "do you really have to live like that now?"

"Not really," Ryan said. "I'm still in the early stages, so I still have a decent amount of energy. I

just have less function."

Though he found that he was just a bit more fatigued with every passing day. Just a bit less willing to get up and do some light chores (Mike and May-Li didn't make him do the heavier chores anymore). Just a bit closer to accepting the help the others offered, or even - Ryan's stomach turned over at the thought - asking for help. He knew that before long, he would have to start rationing his own spoons.

May-Li nodded as if she understood, though that wasn't really the case. While the Spoon Theory was an attempt to explain the finite energy supply of people with disabilities and chronic illnesses to those who didn't have them, she knew that she would never truly understand unless she ever became chronically ill herself. "Still, I can see why you want to avoid chemotherapy. It looks like a real chore."

This conversation is a chore, Ryan though, with a small eye roll. He wasn't in the mood to talk about his cancer - hell, he rarely was in the mood to talk about it. Like the pity wish from the charity, it was just a reminder of his own mortality.

How would they even contact his mother, anyway? They might track her down, but how would they convince her to come back to Britain for such a short while? Chloe had said their mother already knew that her children knew about her lies, after which she was given the cold shoulder. It seemed as if she was totally determined to leave that part of her life and her children behind, as if it had never happened and they never existed. Ryan wondered briefly how she'd react when they told her he had cancer.

She'd probably either slam the door in their faces or, if she was feeling particularly generous, say, "Surprise, surprise. His father was defective too. The apple never falls far from the tree," before slamming the door in their faces. There was a minute chance that she would have enough good conscience to feel remorseful and regretful enough to come and see him, but that was extremely unlikely. He couldn't bank on that.

Even if they somehow managed to convince her to return to Britain, what then? What would he say to her? How would she react? He wasn't even sure when he wanted her to arrive, though preferably as soon as possible and before any paralytic surgery so he could stand up and talk directly to her face - it'd be harder for her to take him seriously if he was looking up at her from hip level.

Chloe still had deep contempt for him, so it'd be no use asking her. May-Li was sitting right next to him, but he didn't feel comfortable talking to her and Mike about it. They didn't even know what his wish was. The whole subject was making his head hurt, so he decided to try thinking of nothing. Not an easy feat when you were almost terminally ill and had a long, rocky road ahead of you, but made much easier taking into account physical and emotional fatigue.

Ryan woke to May-Li shaking his shoulder, which certainly succeeded in waking him up because it made his back start throbbing again.

"You should have an early night tonight," she suggested. "You need your rest."

"I'm not a baby," Ryan huffed, though the prospect of more sleep really wasn't sounding all that unappealing.

His first radiation appointment was in a week, and on that day, he decided he would try getting through that day according to the hypothetical one in which he only had twelve spoons, whether he found he needed to or not.