Roman Holiday

Lights Down Low

Reiner sat on a bench in the small park as he waited for Bertolt to come back from wherever it was that he was going. 'I'm going to get something. Wait here.' was what he told him. He wasn't really in a bad mood, but honestly his normal facial features simply set into an expression of irritability. No matter what, it was almost like he couldn't make himself seem happy and approachable. He didn't particularly mind, though, considering that he didn't really like people anyway.

Reiner had honestly meant for him to drag Bertolt around town and do something fun that both of them would enjoy, but when they finally reached the busy place, his mind told him that he really didn't know what to do. He had to remind himself that this wasn't where he grew up, and that they were much better off than he was. He grew up in a raggedy old shack, and that was considered high class. Maybe that was why Bertolt was so easily a believer of God. He had never really had to work hard for something, and it was all kind of just given to him. He gave off the impression that nothing bad had ever really happened to him.

Reiner shifted slightly in his seat, sitting at the very end of the bench. A little kid simply lifted himself up onto the old wood next to Reiner. "Hi!" the little boy chirped. Reiner grumbled a small noise. The kid couldn't have been more than six years old, his hair a young red color that he would most likely grow out of. Reiner couldn't really find it in himself to tell the kid to get away from him, so he just crossed his arms and let the kid chat away. Honestly, it looked like a little kid and a grumpy old man that doesn't really like kids but isn't going to tell him to leave. Eventually, the kid's mom came over and took him, apologizing profusely. "Bye-bye Mr. Grumpy pants." the kid said, and Reiner resisted the urge to glare.

"I see you've made a new friend." Reiner heard from behind him. He turned to see Bertolt holding two pretzels and two bottles of soda. He plopped down on the bench with a smile.

"Well, you didn't exactly hurry, y'know." Reiner mentioned, and Bertolt couldn't help but chuckle. The tan boy handed one of each thing to the blonde boy and Reiner eyed it curiously. "Pretzels?" he asked the boy as he took a small, modest bite out of the baked bread. Something told Reiner that he didn't just take that kind of bite because he didn't feel comfortable around Reiner, he was just simply that. A modest, reserved person. Bertolt swallowed.

"This is the kind of stuff that I grew up on, you know? Coming to the park with my parents, and Eren for the longest, playing in the park for a few hours with Jean and Marco and Ymir and Armin, and the we would all just relax under a tree with fresh pretzels and Coke. I know you had a different childhood than we all did, so I thought it would do you some good to be a kid for even a few hours." Bertolt said with all the honesty in the world. Bertolt knew the second that he seen that same old man selling fresh pretzels and ice cold sodas close to the fountain in the park that was there when he was still too short to see over the counters in the store that he had to get a taste of the past.

"Are you even real?" Reiner asked before taking a small bite out of his pretzel, finding it surprisingly warm and fresh tasting. Bertolt laughed quietly at his question. The two sat in silence for a few minutes, munching on salty treats and occasionally taking a sip of their sodas, Reiner taking small glances at Bertolt just to see what he was doing and how he was acting. Part of him was just waiting for him to do something to prove that he wasn't who he said he was. He wanted to see that part of him that showed his true colors. He wanted to be right about how he wasn't as pure and kind as he acted to be. Reiner wanted to be right, but so far he had been shown that it wasn't likely.

As awful as it seemed, Reiner really wanted to just destroy Bertolt. He didn't want to physically hurt him, of course, but he wanted to ruin him. Mind and soul and body. He wanted to see the boy crying and begging on his hands and knees to give him mercy. Beg for Reiner to stop torturing him, to stop revealing every little dirty secret he had ever stuffed under his pillow at night. He wanted to know what it was like for someone to burn for things that no one knew about. Reiner would gladly tell the world about all of the sins he had committed. Reiner knew that Bertolt had to be hiding something, all people did. However, when Reiner looked at him in the light of the setting sun of that one day, sitting on a bench at a park with a light colored sweater and snug fitting jeans and a pair of sneakers, he seriously questioned if Bertolt could be the one exception to that statistic. Could this boy, this seventeen year old high school student, be the exception to the standard that the modern youth had set for the world?

"Do you want to go get some ice cream and walk around the plaza?" Bertolt asked with a smile. Reiner raised an eyebrow at him. His blonde hair did quite suit him, Bertolt thought to himself. He didn't ever really think about the fact that it was rather unnatural for a guy to have such lightly colored hair without it being bleached or dyed a hundred times. But no, his hair seemed to have never been touched by anything but cheap shampoo and some clippers every now and then. "Ice cream always made me feel like a kid for some reason. When Eren and I were little, Eren would always tell me that ice cream was a sign of weakness, that it made us seem inferior. It was pretty stupid really, but I always knew that he had a rather advanced sense of humor. He tended to joke around about stuff like that. He tried to be a grown up a lot." he stood up from his spot.

"Why are you so fucking weird? Like, what kind of person has never even been trialed by anything? It isn't fair for you to have had a perfect life and never have anything tempt you." Reiner began to follow him. He obviously didn't miss how Bertolt tensed slightly at the comment he made about never being bothered by anything and never being trialed. Could Bertolt trust him? Bertolt didn't believe that Reiner would ever do anything to try and hurt him. He would never do anything like that to him, would he?

"I haven't really had a perfect life, you know. It wasn't as bad as yours apparently, but it was bad enough for me." he informed the blonde. Reiner knew he had him here. "All through growing up, I suffered with social anxiety. I was always scared of meeting new people, and my classmates used to bully me for my height in elementary school. They don't really do it much anymore, but that's because they all grew up, that and Eren beat up the last guy that said something to me. I blame that on his anger issues." Reiner stopped for a minute, dead in his tracks, barely even breathing and if you had put a finger on his neck or wrist, you would have barely felt a pulse.

"You were bullied." Reiner asked as Bertolt stopped to look at the blonde with concern. "People used to bully you, and you're still this? This kind-hearted person that would do anything for anyone, someone that is willing to talk to some grumpy asshole like me and try to be his friend no matter how many times he told you to fuck off? How?" he was astonished.

"Just because others don't know how to show kindness, it doesn't mean that I can't." Reiner just stood there for another moment. "God forgives, why can't I?" he added and Reiner was simply blown away then. The brunet boy smiled again. "Let's go get some ice cream."

God forgives, why can't I?

Guys I finally got off my ass and wrote something !!! This is probably really shitty and I'm sorry if it is but I really just have no motivation most of the time but hopefully I can get back into it soon. If any of you need to talk, I got you.

If any of you would like to see the playlist of songs that I have made up that have inspired this story, then search the user "Annie Gooch" and then click on my profile. The Playlist is called Roman Holiday. I'm the first one to pop up on youtube. Thank you!