The Journey Thru My Life

The End

It all started like this, it was a hot sunny day in North Carolina. Just as life seemed it couldn't have been going better it didn't, it got worse.
My mother, and I were having Sunday brunch when it all happened, "Mom where's the table settings?" I asked. "I think there up stairs in the attic darling"she called back. "Okay I'll be right back".
What I wasn't expecting was what came next. When I was in the attic looking for the table settings I heard a loud Bang!!! "Mom what was tha-" I'd cut short when I discovered what the Bang!!! nose was "Mom!" I yelled. My mother was on the floor unconscious. I ran to her side on the floor. I had to think on my feet, first thing I did was check her pulse then I got up, and called 911. The woman asked me the address, and said that an ambulance would be over right away.
After what felt like years rather than minutes, the ambulance arrived. They found me on the floor beside my mother. I was crying and pleading with all my might "Mom, please, please wake up". The EMTS practically had to pry me from her side. As soon as they released me from their hold I ran to the ambulance, planting myself next to gurney in which my mother now lad in."I'm sorry miss, but-" said a man wearing a EMT uniform said, but he was cut off short by a sharp look given to him by a red haired lady. They spoke no more about the subject.
When we arrived at the hospital the red haired lady who was apparently named Angie told me I couldn't go with my mother any further until the doctor got a look at her. She graciously waited with me until my sorry excuse for a father came about 5 hours after I called him, because I knew Angie couldn't wait with me forever.
"Serenity" he called when he saw me, hugging me into his embrace. I hadn't seen my dad in 5 years. Truth is I didn't miss him. I'd always had resentment towards him, because of what he'd done to me, and my mother. You see my father, I hated using that word escpecally using it on someone who didn't deserve the title, you see my father left me, and my mother when I was only three years old. They spilt up when my mother found out about the second child he had with his lover. He'd thought, or hoped she'd never find out, but oh well can't get everything you want in life. I mean she wasn't an idiot, she'd been having her suspicions for a while. My father made so many "business trips" back then. Back when he was a race car driver. Now he's an lawyer. So he went from grand race car driver to lame boring every day average lawyer.
I hated seeing him and his family, my blood bubbled with anger the minute I'd seen any of them. I'd spent my earlier summers with my father, and his perfect family. Bye that time they already had Evie the oldest of the three monsters. But she was 5 when I last saw her, and I doubt she remembers me. The other 2 I've never meet (thank goodness). Bye the time I was 8 I'd thrown enough tantrums to get out of going to the dreadful, inhabitable New York City. My father never offered to come down and see me. I think he knew how I felt about him, and his family deep down inside.
He took me out of my thoughts when he asked the question he had no right to ask "How's Renee doing?" he asked. "I don't know dad they haven't let me she her!" I yelled back at him shrugging out of his arms. He asked nothing more.
For the next two hours there was silence. This gave me time to think about my mother and nothing else.
The silence was cut off when Angie called me over "Do you want to see your mom, love?"she asked. "Yes!" I answered back, no doubt she heard the enthusiasm in my voice. "Okay, but you have to take him with you" her eyes directing to my father. I had a lot of free time on my hands while she waited with me for my sorry excuse of a father to show up, so I told her about almost half of my life story up to this point in time, so she knew how I felt about my father and she completely understood. "Ugh" I rolled my eyes, I couldn't bare to be away from my mother any longer, but on the other hand I hated having my mother, and father in the same room together, they always seemed to find something to fight about.
I thought better of it, I'd just have to suck it up, it's not like he'd want to fight with her in these conditions, right? "Dad come with me" he snapped his head up instantaneously.
We followed Angie down the hall, into a room with blue walls and in the center, my mother's hospital bed. "Mom!" I yelled running to the side of her bed. My mother looked so weak, and fragile that I was afraid of hugging her. But I ran to hug her anyway, being cautious knowing just how breakable she looked. My father stood awkwardly in the corner of the room, with his arms crossed, and worried eyes. "My darling daughter listen to my indications very carefully", "I know I'm not going to get better" whispered my mother."Mom don't say that" I snapped feeling a hole opening in my chest."I'm not done, since I'm not going to get better", I snickered."Are you done?","I haven't got all day". I nodded. "Well then since I know I'm not going to get better, you will go with your father, and his family after I die, I know that must sound dreadful to you but-"."Dreadful!" I yelled,"more like unimaginable" I said lowering my tone. "Watch you're tone young lady, it's not just you, and I in the room" she whisper yelled at me throwing a glance at my father. "You'll do it for me won't you my darling girl?". I could once again feel that hole in my chest only this time it seemed to be getting deeper. "I suppose if it's what you want" my sadness was more then evident. I couldn't imagine why my mother would be telling me this. Did she want me to leave her? I couldn't imagine why, did she not want me to see her suffer? Why would she send me away in the time she needed me most? This time it felt as if the hole in my chest was trying to eat away at me little by little. "Another thing my darling girl" she took a deep breath "I love you more then you could ever know, and no matter what happens I will ALWAYS be with you, nothing can break our love apart, not even death" tears were flowing from both of our eyes. She grabbed my hand, and I leaned into hug her, but then the unthinkable happened.
The monitor monitoring my mother's heart rate went Beep at a flat rate. "Mom!" I yelled knowing exactly what beep meant in a hospital, nothing good. "Doctor!"yelled Angie I hadn't even noticed she was still in the room."Mom you can't leave me, you can't do this to me, please !" I yelled, tears running down my eyes as she reached for my hand. "Oh my darling daughter I believe I have no choice","You'll be in good hands with you're father, and his family"she said with a heavy breathe. "Serenity I love you" we're my mother's last words as a tear ran down her cheek. "No!" I yelled, she had no right to leave me."How could you do this to me!","You said we'd be together forever, that was a lie!"my father had to pull me from the bed, but it was too late. The hole in my chest was now eating me up at a fast rate, as if it was trying to torture me.
"I'm sorry but we can't help her anymore, she's gone"said the doctor with no sadness resembling in his voice. I was furious like a flame that couldn't be put out, "Nothing you can do, of course there's something you can do, help her you idiot, what is the government paying you for!!!" I yelled. "Let go of me, you shouldn't even be here!","You never loved me, you never loved her, you never did, never will" I yelled at my father as I kicked, and screamed. He released me in an instant, finally understanding how I felt or that's what I thought at the time. I ran to the bed "How could you do this to me"I said to my mother's lifeless body my voice resembling emptiness. The hole that I was fighting against had won. It was now only fighting against a lifeless body, a walking dead person some people would call it, "12:50pm"said a man. "No!","She wasn't just a date and number you idiot, she was my entire world". I don't think I've ever yelled, or cried as much as I did that day. My whole world came crashing down all at once that day, anyone who saw me that day could swear they saw the light go out of my eyes. My life no longer had meaning. The hole that had been eating at me since the beginning of all this had won the battle and the war.