The Creation (Book III)

(10) Past: 1986

(10) Past: 1986

 

I snuggled deeper into the quilted blanket as the movie Ghost Busters began to come on TV. I’m not much of a movie or TV watcher, but I loved this movie. Xavier and I had even gone to the theatre to see it. I rested my chin on my knees as the Bill Murray came on the screen using his usual sarcasm. As the movie progressed I was once again amazed by the ghosts. How were they able to create such incredible ghosts? Technology is amazing.

“Do vampires have souls?” I blurted out the question, not even meaning to say aloud. It was just a question I thought of as I saw the ghosts.

Xavier, who had been ignoring the film because he found it “silly” and “childish” looked at me. “What?”

     Our eyes met, something they hadn’t done in a few days since our last spat over Xavier moving us from Washington to Colorado. We move too often. We barely stay in one place more than a year. And I really did love Washington.

“It’s nothing…” I turned my attention to the screen. “I just didn’t know if vampires actually have souls or not. I mean, ghosts are souls, right? Do vampires even have ghosts or…” I faded off when I realized he was standing up.

Xavier sat beside me and lifted the blanket so he was under it as well. I cringed a little at his closeness. “That’s been the question for centuries, love. Our kind has been debating it forever.”

I leaned back in the couch and looked over at him. “What’s your opinion?”

His lips pulled into a small and thoughtful smile. “My opinion? I believe we do. Don’t you?”

My eyes went back to the screen where ghosts began appearing, looking more like clouds than any human form. I thought about it and looked back at Xavier. “No, I don’t.”

He seemed surprised by my answer, which was rare because little surprised Xavier. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer, even though I was shying away from his touch. People usually get the hint and pull away when someone doesn’t want them to be close. Not Xavier. Instead of backing off, he pulled me into his side and rested his cheek on my head. “Why is that?” he murmured into my curls.

“We kill people. Vampires. Anyone with a soul wouldn’t just kill people. I don’t think we’re capable of anything people with a soul are.”

He was quiet, though I could tell he was considering my words carefully. Xavier always thought long and hard about the things I say that aren’t about him or our relationship. I ask him about his opinion of a book I’ve read and he’ll carry on an intelligent and thoughtful conversation about the book. He’ll tell me what he loved about it and what parts he would change about it. He considered my opinion of the book and encouraged it. I ask him about our relationship and how I want things different? He shuts me down entirely and pretends I never mentioned it. But now he was thoughtful and considerate.

“Do you believe animals have souls?” he asked with his arm tightening around me.

Despite myself, I leaned into him because it was more comfortable than fighting against his hold. “I suppose. Puppies are sweet and all, so I guess.”

“Animals kill things as well. It’s the circle of life. They kill to survive, just as we do. It’s instinct.”

“But we kill for survival and because we can. Animals don’t know any better…We do.”

“So do humans, and they all have souls. Some of them kill just to kill. That’s why some humans go to hell, because they’ve darkened their soul.”