Broken Things (A Supernatural FanFic)

Chapter 49: Without Thinking Twice

            Dean sat in the impala with some music playing as he waited for Sam and Emily to come down from the hotel room. They had to pack up some finishing things and they told Cas and Dean they could wait in the car. Cas knew that Sam was shotgun so he made himself comfortable in the middle seat of the back. Dean caught his eyes in the rearview mirror.

            “You know you can sit on the end? That is usually where adults prefer to sit.” Dean cleared his throat and rested his hands on his faithful steering wheel. This car was home to him.

            “Does it bother you?” Cas asked with sincere worry of Dean being angry with him.

            “No, I was just asking.” Dean looked back in the rear view mirror to see Cas looking down at him lap.

            “Then I would like to stay sitting here. It is more comfortable.” Cas’ voice dimmed until he let out a soft yawn.

            “Do angels usually sleep? I have never seen you this tired.” Dean noted suspiciously as he kept a vigilant eye on Cas.

            “We can rest, recharge our vessels for a bit, but no we never needed sleep to survive. And last night I dreamt for the first time. Only it wasn’t what I have heard and read about, it was terrifying and I don’t want to sleep again.” Cas’ voice wavered toward the end.

            “What was your nightmare about?” Dean was suddenly concerned for Cas. He was learning to be human nad finding all the things that is miserable about life. Nightmares were unsettling to even the most happy person in the world and Cas didn’t need that anxiety over his head right now.

            “I just remember falling. But I couldn’t fly, and I couldn’t see the ground. I just knew that when I landed I would be dead… and then I also remember you and Emily standing in front of me while you were holding hands. And this black thing just appeared in the background but I couldn’t seem to speak and when I tried to run at you I was stuck. The thing jusdt ripped down on you two and you both disappeared. I never want to think about it again. It was so real…” Cas sat up suddenly and looked around the car. “Where are Sam and Emily?”

            Dean looked out the front window at the hotel and sighed. “I don’t know. They should be here soon.”

            “The black thing… it wasn’t a demon. I don’t know what it was.” Cas was still unsettled.

            “Did it have large beady red eyes?” Dean asked in a sarcastic voice when he remembered the creature Emily had destroyed.

            “No… it was just like a shadow.” Cas sat his head back and breathed in deeply. “Do you think I made a mistake becoming human?”

            “Of course not-“

            “I mean really. I know that you are happy that I am not one of them and that I am with you guys, but I am useless now. I have these stupid nightmares and I feel scared of my own body. I still don’t understand so much of it. I am going to learn to live as we take on demons and Lucifer followed by my old family. I don’t know if I am going to be that good of an asset.” He ran his hand over his trench coat and savored the feel on his fingertips. The little sensations that humans take for granted were still so amazing to him, now that it was fully his body to do with what he wanted.

            “You are a part of this family, for better or worse. We will watch out for you if it comes to that. You are an asset, where would I be without you? The deepest pits of Hell. And no matter if you have powers, you can still lend a hand and step up to stand by us. Damn straight I am happy you are human. I wouldn’t want it any other way.” Dean felt a small knot in his throat. Cas had always meant something to Dean, ever since the night Cas found him. He had given Dean another life and even gone againt his family for the Winchesters. That wasn’t anything he would forget.