Caffeine withdrawal

I like my coffee bitter, like me

Yoongi lays his head against Taehyung's chest as they sway back and forth to the music. He looks at his left hand and he feels warm staring at the wedding band on he left hand. "I love you Taehyung." He tries to say but no words leave his mouth. "You don't love me, you never have." Taehyung's voice echos in the room. When Yoongi looks up Taehyung looks just like how he did when they were all taken by his father. He moves back in shock and as he does he sees blood his hands. "It's all your fault." Taehyung says and Yoongi can't breath. He panics as the room starts to fill with blood. Taehyung has vanished and now it's just Yoongi slowly drowning in a sea of red.

Yoongi wakes to being shaken. "Yo dude wake up!" His flat mate calls out. Quickly he sits up looking around trying to calm down from the high of his panic. "Jeez what kind of nightmare did you have?" He says and Yoongi realizes. "Oh god it felt so real." He mumbles running a hand through his hair. He catches his breath before realizing that his friend has been waiting in front of couch for minutes now. "Sorry about that Donghyuk." He says moving so he's sitting on the couch and not laying on it. "All good but do you wanna talk about it?" He asks and Yoongi shakes his head.

"Ok, well I was gonna order take out and I wanted to know if you wanted something." Donghyuk asks and Yoongi shakes his head again. "Ok." The younger gets up and walks into the other room. Yoongi stays on the couch, head in his hands. "Why can't I just forget him already." He mumbles. He doesn't get much time to dwell on it due to his phone ringing. "Hello." He says. "Ah yes Yoongi I know you're off today but we need some extra hands here at the studio today. It's just one shoot though, and it's one of your experiences." One of his manager says and Yoongi sighs. "Sure thing, when do you need me to come in?" He asks getting up from the couch looking for his equipment. "Can you come in now? Sorry I know it's very last minute but we really need you here." Yoongi shakes his head. "Alright alright I get it. I'm coming in now, but I better finally get that promised free pizza you told me you'd get me last time Joan." There's laughter on the other line as Yoongi brings that up. "Alright fine. I really don't know why you want that pizza so badly but you'll get it, I double promise." She tells him as Yoongi finds what he needs and grabs it. "Listen the pizza here is good alright, you wouldn't understand you were born here." There's more laughter as Yoongi walks out the door, locking it. "Ok, well I'll speak to you when you more when you get here. See you then." "Later Joan."

Yoongi thanks the heavens above for having the greatest manager of all time. She's kind, sweet and patient. She doesn't judge Yoongi's pronunciation of words or make fun of him when he accidentally slips back into Korean while speaking. As he walks out of the apartment complex he live in he remembers how even the way he got the job was lucky.

When Yoongi arrived in New York he had a lot of emotions running through him. Sure a good portion was angst but it was overpowered by the awe he had from the beauty of the place he was now in. He found the place so beautiful it made him want to do photography again. He had picked it up back in college but never went to far with it, music taking more priority. Now he's starting over, so maybe photography will be his new priority. He had spent days sight seeing and nights starring at the the skyline from his hotel window. Eventually he learned the city just wasn't for him, Manhattan had a lot of things but it wasn't what he was looking for. Besides, it reminded him too much  of Seoul. Then he found queens which was calmer but he could still easily come back to the city if he wanted. It gave him everything he needed. It's where he met his now roommate and it's where he met Joan, his manager. He was just taking photos of juniper park when someone almost tackles him. "Oh my god I'm so sorry I just saw you taking photos and I really love photography so I just wanted be your friend but I'm probably creeping you out aren't I?" They stare at each other for a moment, not because Yoongi didn't know what to say but rather almost didn't understand the girl. "Sorry, could you say that a-again? My ,um, English isn't the best." In that moment he was just hoping he said the right things but apparently he did. The girl laughs and repeats herself, smiling this time instead of pure worry on her face. "Oh um well sure, let's be friends. You won't be upset over my English will you?" He asks. Every time he's spoken English he's felt like digging a hole in the ground and dying in it. "No not one bit." She tells him and the rest is history.

He thanks the stars for Joan. She helped him get back on his feet after he carelessly fell over.

He knows he has to get to work as soon as possible but it's a pretty day and New York holds once in a life photogenic moments commonly, so he takes pictures on the way there. The area is loud and crowded but relaxing at the same time. It's weird the affect the area has on him but he doesn't mind. As long as his mind is distracted from the past he's ok. It's a chilly fall day and nothing could be better than this, Yoongi thinks. His heart hurts a little at the thought but he doesn't dwell on it. Instead he distracts himself with the idea of cracking jokes with Joan or maybe the customer. Joan never said which specialty it was so he wonders what kind of customer it'll be. Maybe it's honeymoon photos, or maybe it's family portraits. Maybe it's an up and coming band. The surprise excites Yoongi as he walks in the building.

He moves to the back room and starts taking out his equipment. "Oh good you're here- holy shit you're smiling so wide the fuck you never smile like that you're scaring me." Joan says as she walks in. "What do you mean smiling so wide? Do you mean like this?" Yoongi says smiling wider and laughing. Joan brings out the sarcasm in him. "I'm gonna take that pizza away." She threatens and Yoongi holds his hands up, smile being toned down. For a moment he remembers some of he childhood moments with Jimin. His smile fades.

"Oh and Yoongi is back. For a moment I thought you were possessed or something." She laughs and Yoongi somewhat joins in but he's not fully there. He's somewhat lost in his thoughts. "Well I don't mean to rush you but we've got a customer waiting." She says before leaving Yoongi to hurriedly grab his camera. He can't dwell on the past, he has no time for that.
_______________________
It just occurred to me how long this book is probably going to take to write.

I start school tomorrow and I'm taking an ap course a long with other stuff you do in junior year of high school.

I'll do my best to update as fast as I can but for now I'm not too sure what I can do.
-kyl