#212 in random (10/12/17)
#227 in random (10/11/17)
#292 in random (9/27/17)
I'm not a pro especially about rules but I will give my opinion on your story based on what I read as a whole.
I may not be as detailed as I can be especially on technicali...
Story: Shadow of Love Author: PoopyChocolate Parts: 8 Genre: Fantasy
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I love fantasy and mystery and I'm happy and excited to see your story.
Unique and interesting 'yong plot mo and maganda 'yong development ng story.
Sa content naman ay swabe lang siya though I notice na mahilig ka mag cut ng scenes which is hindi naman masama pero careful minsan kasi may tendency na malito 'Yong readers mo. Pwede mo gamitan ng markings na may shifting kang ginawa sa scene or nagcut ka na at ibang scene na yong kasunod.
'Yong convo ay okay lang at hindi OA basahin.
Areas to improve:
📄 Grammar and spelling - work on this specifically. Don't get offended but you really have to review this aspect. Nasa iyo na ang plot ng story.
📄 Wrong use of word - work on this because you tend to use words na hindi akma sa gusto mong ideliver na thought ng sentence while there are times na nagiging awkward ito basahin. Dapat tandaan natin na mga salita ang gamit natin sa paglalarawan ng mga pangyayari at isang maling word lang ang magamit natin ay nag-iiba na ang gustong sabihkn ng picture.
📄 Punctuations - Review your punctuations. May mga nakita akong maling punctuation na ginamit sa pangungusap at hindi mo maideliver Yong emosyon na gusto mong ipahiwatig dahil sa punctuation. Kadalasan nagkakapalit ang period at question mark and use ! more often lalo na kung matindi ang emosyon n gusto mong iparating. Na-notice ko din na may mga sentences na nilalagyan ng comma kahit hindi dapat so nangyayari is nagiging iba yong thought nito.
📄 Re-read your work kasi I notice na merong mga words or group of words na present sa story na awkward basahin.
All in all, unique ang napili mong story. Aabangan ko yong update mo kasi nalito ako kung bakit si librarian ang naging masama eh di ba si Connor ang walang anino? Anyway, need you to update na.
Sulat lang ng sulat kung anong nasa imahinasyon mo. Saka na ang edit edit.
Guys, basa basa din pag may time. Para marami kayong matuklasan tungkol sa mga shadows ninyo. Follow PoopyChocolate and check her story Shadow of Love.
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