Chapter 2

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Chapter Two
Long Distance Friend

I wrote the letter but I didn't leave.
Not even until my mom got home from work. I helped her make brownies and watched her make dinner, and then I went back to my room and scroll through my phone.

I only have one best friend, one real friend in life and she lives miles away from me. I met Sorin when my family and I still lived in Seoul, where I spent my freshman year as a high school student. Sorin is older than I am and she's now waiting for the results of her licensure exam for dentistry. I became friends with her because I wasn't so bad back then. I tried to socialize and get along. She started talking to me and we shared interest in reading. We both liked the same series and it came to a point that even when we weren't talking about it, we could talk about a lot more things. I don't want to lose Sorin, even though every day in a long distance friendship passes by, it becomes a little harder to maintain the way things used to be.

And lately, she's been depressed. She's been leaning on me even though we just talk through the screen. I started worrying especially when she gets worse everyday.

She went from "What if I don't pass it?" to, "I can't eat anything. I can't stop thinking about the exams."  to, "I might just kill myself if I don't pass this."

And of course, I panicked but I don't show her. I guess that's one of the advantages of chatting through screen. But also, I guess that's the disadvantage of only talking through screen; I run out of words to say to comfort her. I feel as depressed as her and I don't know what I'd do if something bad happens to her. She lives about two hours away, maybe we could see each other some time but we don't. Maybe that is the power of having actual friends that you could touch and see eye to eyeㅡbecause sometimes there are things that words can't console, and that's when the action is needed; the hugs and pats on the backs.

I opened Sorin's new text message and read: "My mom just set up a party the day after the results come out and invited a lot of people!! I don't know what to do Hyunjoo. I'm not even sure if I would pass! Why is she so confident!"

I stared at the screen, thinking of words to reply but my head is an empty shell. Sorin's mom had always been very proud of her. She had always been intelligent and a daughter to brag about, but I guess she could only take so much pressure.

hyunjoo: because she believes in you. i believe in you. and i believe that party will happen and you will celebrate it with a smile. your mom is just excited. im sorry.

sorin: she's putting so much pressure on me hyunjoo :'( i already cant stop thinking about the results and she adds up!

hyunjoo: hey. think positively okay? how do you feel? do you feel like you passed it or not?

sorin: my heart feels like i could pass but my head is justㅡugh idk.

hyunjoo: listen to what your heart says.

sorin: thanks hyunjoo. i try :(

I leave the message by sending: always here if you need to talk.

And then I got up, ate dinner with mom. I sat with her afterwards in the couch and we watched Bates Motel in Netflix while we ate brownies. It's friday night. People my age must be partying somewhere, enjoying the last month of summer before going back to university. I love my mom. I love spending time like thisㅡbut as I glanced outside the window, staring at the shimmering city lights from afar, I just always wonder about the other side of this world.

a/n: short update :O
i cant believe how short my beginning chapters are :/ but trust me they get longer later on. haha!

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