As If He Were Me

Prologue

She was slowly walking through the silence of the night. The smell of smoke, beer and vomit was still lingering in her nostrils. Every now and then, a soft noise emerged from the two bundles in her arms, disrupting the quiet peace.

They were so beautiful, so innocent. She had hoped that Bill would change, that he would finally turn his life around with these two little souls depending on him. He had promised it. It had lasted for two, maybe three days. Then she had come back from her cleaning job and found him passed out in the trailer, surrounded by beer bottles, the babies on the floor, crying.

She had given him another chance, but the only thing that came from it was the bruises on her body. When he had started drinking again that night, whatever little hope she had, was extinguished.

She loved the little boys and she had wanted to see them grow up and blossom, but she knew she couldn't provide them with what they needed; a safe environment, and money for food, clothes and education. When she got pregnant she knew that it would be tough, but Bill had been better, and he had told her he would do anything for her, and for them.

When he had started beating her again that day, she knew that she had to do something. It was only a question of time until the babies would suffer at his hand, she had to go to work, so she couldn't always be around to look out for them.

She was so ashamed to have failed them. She hoped that when they grew up, they would understand, and forgive her. That was all she could hope for.

Standing in front of the fire station, she looked down at her two sons, savoring her last moment with them. She kissed them gently on their foreheads and whispered an 'I love you', before she laid them down on the ground in front of the door.

She rang the bell and quickly walked away. As she left, the babies began to cry and it broke her heart. From around the corner, at the end of the block, about 60 feet away, she watched as the door opened and a bear of a man knelt down to pick up the boys. He put the note that she had pinned to one of the blankets into his pocket and gently rocked the babies in his arms.

He read the name tags on their blankets and spoke to them soothingly. After a moment they stopped crying, and the firefighter went back to the station. Now the only thing left of her in their lives was the note she had written for the firefighter.

"These are Pharaoh and Phoenix. They were born on July 3rd. Please make sure that they have a warm home and a loving family. I love them very much and I want them the best. Please tell them I will never forget them."

Silently crying, she turned around and walked back to her trailer.