RULE 1: There will always be things that you won't understand, so don't try to understand them.
This is what we tell the newbies, to try and calm their fears about entering the realm of the supernatural.
Don't try to figure everything out, it'll make you go crazy.
Just take a deep breath and try to focus. Ignore the vampire bats flying through the halls and the snakes slithering all over the place, they only hurt liars and traitors.
Don't attempt to cram information into your head and understand the majority of things here. None of us know everything, not even old Eddie over there, and he's been here since he died in the fifteenth century. His grandson was Henry Tudor the VIII, you know, the English king who had six wives.
As sad as it sounds, no matter how long we're here, we never learn everything. So much for postmortem closure.
RULE 2: Don't trust the angels. Their halos are as sharp as demon horns.
This is one of the most important aspects of the Afterlife. During life, we hear all this crap about how angels are good and pure and righteous and were created solely to worship the Creator, but that's not true. Angels need guidance, but they like to pick and choose who they're guided by and how they are guided. They're sneaky, self-serving, and generally a pain in the rear. They will do anything and everything to trip you up just for the fun of it.
They will lie and cheat and steal and use their halos to slice into your skin, to bleed you of all you're worth, and then disappear once there's not enough of you left to piece together. All the while, you're enthralled by them, never minding that they're leeching you of everything that makes you you. I've seen it happen. We all have.
It's not a sight you'd wish to behold.
They cannot be trusted. If possible, we tell incoming souls, avoid them altogether. Their traps are wide and easy to fall into, and their enchantments are agonizingly difficult to break. They may look like Heaven, but they'll treat you like Hell.
RULE 3: Every man for himself. When you die, it's your job to make sure you avoid damnation.
We try to stress this as much as possible: Just because you are dead and in the Afterworld does not mean you are safe.
The monsters that haunt the Upper World in life do the same here in death. And even if you were a good person in life, you're not guaranteed salvation here. Nothing is guaranteed here. No one wants to be snatched away to damnation, but everyone is willing to sell everyone else out to ensure their own safety. So watch your back. There are devils in the details just waiting to sink a knife into it and drag you to their fiery realm.
RULE 4: Never, ever look into a mirror. You'll hate the face staring back at you.
This one's simple. People change when they get here. No matter how much people wish to remain the same, or think they're special and will be blessed enough to avoid a transformation, it happens anyways. We've had spirits go crazy because they look into a mirror and don't recognize themselves, or think they're damned because there's no way that their face can look like that, not here, where things are supposed to be better.
No one ever knows for sure if what's waiting for them her will be better or worse than life. Disappointing as it is, most of the time it's neither, just the same existence. But the ones who look into mirrors...what they have waiting for them is definitely worse.
Just make things easy for yourself and don't do it. Because despite what you think, you're not special. And when you look at your reflection, all you'll see is the abyss, staring patiently back and waiting for the moment when you'll...CRACK.
