Hello everyone :) I worte this story a while ago and could you please comment on what you think :) Thanks
Dear Daphne
I moved into a new house and I was sorting through the boxes in my attic when I found an old letter from someone who used to live in the house. The letter was unopened. Slowly I tore open the envelope. It looked really old, but seemed to be written on a computer. So it may have been recent. I opened the letter and sat down on an old chair in the corner of the attic and read the letter to myself. It said:
'Dear Daphne,
I am writing this in hope that one day you will find it and keep my story alive. I was a teenager once just like you are and just like your son will be. But when I was a teenager things were different. We didn't have many computers or any iPods; we had to make our own fun. So most of the time I went out with my friends, but because we were a poor family we didn't have much time for that. My older brothers were already working and I went to school. When I returned I did all my homework, then did my work on the farm and only if I had time I would get to go out with my friends. Most of the time we went to the cave by the stream, that's our secret place. Each time we went in we got further and further down the long tunnel and each time we marked how far we had got with a few sticks and stones. But one day we thought that we had reached a dead end, as we turned to go back we noticed a crack of light coming from behind some small rocks. We pushed them aside and found a hidden passage way.
We dithered for a while before deciding to follow it. The passageway got darker and darker as there was only a glimmer of light shining through some cracks above our heads, Sally and Grace were shaking and turned back as they were too scared. But Bill took my hand and held it tightly as we pushed and clambered further into the dark, the passageway was narrowing and we had to squeeze through the last section which brought us out into an opening, and lying on the floor beneath us was an amazing array of old gold coins and jewels. Bill and I looked at each other through the dim light in total disbelief, for a while frozen in amazement. We were surrounded by rubies, diamonds, priceless jewellery and a range ancient artefacts from runes to goblets. We gathered in our arms as much treasure as we could carry and hurried back the way we came.
I got home and my family thought I had stolen it, but our income was at a critical low, so they didn't ask and just accepted it. They sold the farm and bought a manor by the sea, and sent me to a boarding school.
I felt betrayed, as if I had enabled them to get rich, and yet they got rid of me in return. My brothers started their own families and my parent had an early retirement. In the holidays when I came home my parents let me live in the music room, while even their new pet dog had its own room which was bigger than mine.
So one summer I decided not to go to my parent's house for my holidays. I went to Bill's. We had a great time catching up on what had happened and he told me that builders are going to block up the cave in a few weeks and build some new shops and houses in front of it. So we went down to say farewell and to think about everything that had happened there when we were younger.
When we got there, the site was already blocked by a large metal fence but we clambered over the fence and walked into the cave. As we went further and further in we discovered that the dead end had gone. Our secret passage was blocked and the tunnel in front of us just seemed to go on and on. We made a mark with a few rocks and sticks and went back to Bill's house and packed some snacks, ready for an adventure.
Packed and ready, we returned to the cave. As we went further and further, we found and old rusty oil lamp, Bill lit it with some matches and we walked on. The deeper we went in the darker it got and the lamp was beginning to dim. We found some large rocks and sat on them to eat before continuing.
