Backfire (Niall Horan)

Chapter 3 ~ Not a fan

I wasn’t excited at the beginning, but then my friends starting to get more and more excited and, obviously, I did too. By the day of the concert I felt like a fan, too. Belle and Phebs trained me listening to their songs and learning the lyrics, but I sucked at that, I just could remember the chorus of each song. They accepted that it was going to be the best they could get out of me.

They got dressed very pretty and tried to make me use something different, but I refused and decided to wear my combat boots, shorts, a black t-shirt of Bon Jovi and a red plaid shirt that were my dad’s. My messy hair was like usual, but I liked it that way, it had this rockstar thing.

When we got to the venue, there were already a few girls, teenagers, and next to them I felt old. They probably were fifteen and there I was, a twenty-year-old woman that just the day before learned the titles of the songs of the band. Luckily, the lads weren’t that young; Harry was the youngest and he was only eighteen. It was legal.

I felt a bit bad whilst we were waiting because these girls probably would kill someone just to get the chance to meet the lads, and there I was, waiting for them to pick me up without even knowing their surnames. I didn’t deserve that, in contrast with those girls who were looking at me suspiciously.

“What are their surnames?” I asked just so I wouldn’t feel that bad. Belle looked at me surprised but answered. I tried to remember them, but I failed, by the time they got there, I didn’t remember Louis, Liam and Zayn’s last names, I could only keep with my Harry’s and Niall’s because they were the easiest.

When the boys appeared, the few fans there started to scream like maniacs and I got scared. They jumped and ran towards the lads and if the fence hadn’t been there, the lads would have been mobbed.  They acted so nice, signing autographs and taking pictures with the fans, even talking to them a bit before they got to us. Niall was the first and he had this sweet smile that made me smile at him, too. His blue eyes were shining and he seemed really happy. I assumed it was because of the fans. “Ready to go?” he asked as the rest of the lads got next to him.

“Absolutely,” Belle replied whilst I just only could see the fans’ expressions, all that hatred and jealousy in those young faces. I felt terrible as I heard them complaining, asking the lads to take them, too. Bodyguards and the lads surrounded us as we walked into the venue, but I couldn’t stop feeling guilty. I wanted to go back there and take a girl with me, just to do something good.

“You okay?” Niall asked next to me. I nodded but couldn’t look at him. “Really? You don’t seem okay, you look kind of sad, Alex. You can talk to me,” he assured me and for a minute I wanted to hug him for being so sweet.

“It’s just… it’s just I feel like I’m stealing one of those girls’ dreams. I mean, I’m not a fan but I’m here with you and, I dunno, it doesn’t feel right,” I replied looking shyly at him. I couldn’t help putting myself in their position: me in my favourite band concert and these girls walking away with my dream man. No, it was horrible seeing that.

“Oh, don’t think like that!” he said putting his arm around my shoulder and hugging me. “We can be friends with whoever we want, it doesn’t matter if she is a fan or not. So you don’t have to be a fan to hang out with us.” I looked up at him, his blue eyes warm and reassuring. I smiled biting my lips together.

“Even though, I feel bad for them.”

“If you want to make it better, you can pretend to be a fan so they won’t think it’s unfair,” he suggested with a big smile and I laughed pretty hard.

“No offence, Niall, but I rather not,” I replied stepping away and grabbing the hem of my t-shirt. “See what I’m wearing? I like this one better.”

“I like it, too,” he said and I looked really surprised. “What? Is it too weird for me to like Bon Jovi?” he asked and I just nodded still eyes wide open. “Oh, that hurts!” He faked a deep emotional pain. “What did you think? That I just listened to Justin Bieber?”

“Pretty much.” He faked that expression again and I laughed at him. “Sorry?” I offered and he hugged me again.

“I like different kinds of music, not only pop. Don’t judge by what you see.”

“Guess I’ll have to know you better so I won’t hurt you again with my words.”

“That’s the idea,” he whispered and I frowned not quite sure of what he meant.

“Hey you two!” Zayn called us out loud. “Hurry up. You don’t want to be left behind, do you?”

Niall and I hurried to catch up with them. Belle and Phebs were happily talking to the other lads and soon we joined to their conversation. The blond never let me go and I didn’t mind at all, on the contrary, I quite liked being that close to him. It felt somehow natural and right. Besides, it helped me forget all the things that were rounding in my head.

I could act like I was okay, like I didn’t care about what happened with Marcus, but every time I thought of him my heart ached. After all, I loved him, we were together for two years; it was obvious it hurt to know that he didn’t love me back. But I didn’t want the rest to know the pain I was carrying in me. I smiled and acted all animated, but at night the image of Marcus and that woman played before my eyes like a bad movie. I never let myself cry, though. It was the only thing I would never do.

One of the reasons why I made the decision to give up on men was because I didn’t want to be heartbroken again. Maybe there was something in me, maybe it was just my bad taste in men, I didn’t know; I just knew that I had bad luck and I was tired of it. I wanted to be happy, I wanted to smile and stop wondering when everything was going to end. A happily ever after with a prince charming wasn’t meant for me and I finally accepted that. Luckily, I liked cats because I was going to end up surrounded by many of them.

“You okay?” Niall asked again when we were in the dressing room. I was so into my thoughts that I forgot where I was. I shook my head and looked at him. “You look a bit down again. Do you want something?” he offered as sweet as I was getting used to him to be.

“I’m okay. I was just thinking of something. Nothing important,” I replied with what I hoped it was a happy smile.

“I don’t think it wasn’t important if you had that look, Alex.” I didn’t like the way he didn’t accept my lies. They weren’t bad lies, though. I was just used to say that I was always okay because I didn’t like to make my friends worry about me. Niall could see through my words and see that I wasn’t being honest and I didn’t like that, I felt exposed.

“Don’t worry, Niall,” I requested with a weak smile. “I’ll be okay. Better show me what you do whilst waiting for the show to start.”

Niall looked at me still worried and not wanting to leave the matter there, but finally he let it drop and smiled taking my hand as he led me towards a table with food on it. I smiled widely. There was plenty of chocolate there and I was ready to devour it all with my new friend’s help.