The slave gave me gold and silver, Endre didn't know about that. Her name is Alva, she told that she is not a slave. Endre makes sure that she dresses like one, because he doesn't want anyone killing her to get to him. I also had a few gold and silver that my mother gave it to me, she always said that if something happened I could handle anything.
Being alone at a farm with little boys, made me learn how to defend myself. I was afraid that someone could kill us, just to get our farm.
It was painful to think about it so I avoided, but from time to time, I thought about Ivar. I thought about my love for him is more alive and it's bigger when I see our sons running on the farm.
I thought about Lagertha, not being able to see and talk to her, was like loosing my mother. I consider her a mother, I wish that she could meet Halstein.
I thought about Sigurd, the friend that helped me. I trust him with my life, I miss him.
"Mother, mother." Brynjar and Eirik called me, they were running and Halstein was behind.
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"What happened my children?" I sit on the floor and they hugged me.
"We want to hear histories about our father and grandparents." Eirik said excited.
"Yes, we love that histories." Brynjar said with a huge smile.
Halstein came to me, he wanted to run like his brothers but they were faster.
"Mother." He said to me.
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"Why you two did not wait for your little brother?" I ask Brynjar and Eirik.
"Because he is slow, he should play with children, not with us." Brynjar says and rolled his eyes.
He is just like Ivar, he is sarcastic, angry, and really clever. Eirik is more like me, he is quiet and observing. Halstein reminds me of Ragnar, he is charismatic, intelligent and really curious.
"But you are brothers, you should always protect each other." I say to the three of them.
"We know." They said together, they are adorable.
I always wondered why Ivar never looked for us, I couldn't, but I wonder why he never looked for us. Didn't he loved me anymore? Maybe, it's been years, but he never looked for his sons.
We were always on the Great Hall of the city, nobody knew who I was, or my sons. The Earl here hates the Ragnarssons, because they have more fame. I always say to Brynjar, Eirik and Halstein never say to anyone who are there father. They never talked about that with anyone.
One day I was farming, and the kids were playing together. When we heard a noise in the forest, it was loud but we were away from the city, so we were probably the only ones that heard it.
"What was that mother?" Eirik asked me, he was scared.
"I do not know, but do not go there." I warned them.
We heard another noise, and Halstein run towards the noise. I didn't see it at first but Brynjar screamed.
"Mother, look."
I ran after him, the forest wasn't big, so he was getting out of the forest.
"Halstein." I screamed, when I lost him out of my sight.
When I finally saw him, he was with a men. I didn't look at the men, I was so scared for my son.
"Halstein." I screamed and he looked at me scared.
I hugged him tightly.
"Why did you ran?" I whispered in his ear.
"This man is a warrior mother." He pointed at the man and I froze.
Ivar.
He was right in front of me, but he was standing up. I never realized how tall he is. He was different, his hair was braided and he had a few scars.
"You should not leave your mother, you must protect your family, at any cost." He said to Halstein.
"I know, but I wanted to see what was the noise." Halstein said, like he knew Ivar his whole life.
Ivar laughs, gods how I miss him. When I'm about to say something, I saw a wedding band on his finger. Ivar is married, he doesn't love me anymore. He doesn't even love his sons.
I was dirty and full of dirt on my face, my hair was longer, and I was sweating. He couldn't recognize me.
