The Broken Orphan [Being Rewritten]

Forty Nine- Secrets

"It started out with small comments about how I needed to watch my figure, or how my duty was to please him. I never liked to fight with people, so I just did what he wanted me too. It got to the point where he would control how much and what I ate. He would constantly tell me how fat or unattractive I am, especially if I did something wrong." I say twiddling my thumbs in my lap to occupy my hands. He stays silent so I can tell my story.

"It progressively got worse. So much that he would hit me when I made him angry. It would be over the smallest things too. If I made the toast too crispy, or if I didn't have the right dinner made, even though he never told me what he wanted, or even if I didn't smile when I greeted him; he would hit me." I tell him. I sense Luke becoming upset beside me, but he still doesn't say anything. I can tell he's trying to keep it together and not let his anger show.

"I had the same routine just about every day. Wake up before he did, get ready for work, put on the outfit he had laid out for me the night before, have breakfast ready by the time he got up, go to work, and come home. I had two hours by myself before he would get home, so I used it to clean or grade papers or whatever needed to be done. I had to have dinner ready and waiting for him when he got home. I would have to bring it to him in the living room and sit beside him to make sure he didn't need anything while he was eating. I couldn't talk while he was eating because he would be watching tv, or I would be punished I guess is a way to put it." I say trying to figure out what to call what he did to me.

"Sometimes I would be allowed to sleep in my bed with him, or he would make me sleep in the guest bed." I say bluntly. It didn't affect me much. I just missed my bed.

"The second worse thing he started doing to me was on our first anniversary. He....." I trail off. Luke starts rubbing my back to comfort me and I take a deep breath.
"He raped me." I whisper. His hand stops in the middle of my back. I see him from the corner of my eye tense up. His jaw sets tight and his body is rigid.
"He would get drunk, and I wasn't strong enough to fight back. Eventually I stoped trying because that only made it worse. Then, the next day he would be really nice and said he loved me and promised to never do it again. I believed him every time too, and he would just keep doing it." I say barely above a whisper.

"The day after the first time he did it, I went to uhh...make sure I was, you know, alright. The lady said I showed signs of rape and asked if anything had happened to me. I was so stupid. Good lord I was stupid. I lied and said I liked it rough." I say laughing a bit because my emotions are going haywire again. My laugh turns into a crying laugh which then turns into just crying. Luke pulls me into another hug and I cry into his chest.

"Shhh, it's alright. Everything is going to be alright. You're safe and so is Evangeline. No one is ever going to hurt either of you anymore." He assures me
I will myself to stop crying and wipe my tears away.

"I finally came to my senses one night. The only catch is, it took him stabbing me to realize I need to get away from him." I say once I calm down again.

"He had come home drunk out of his mind. He had gotten let go from his job that day. Everything I did that night made him angry. I made the wrong food, it wasn't hot enough, when I warmed it up it was too hot. By the end of the night he was screaming at me how all of it was my fault. Somehow everything was always my fault, no matter what it was. He started to try to rape me again, but this time I tried to fight back. I had been cutting something, and he grabbed the knife. He stabbed me right here." I say and run my fingers over a spot just under my left ribs where a scar now lives on my skin.

"He beat me worse than ever before. Broke two of my ribs on my right side, but managed to miss everything important with the knife. My neighbor had heard me screaming and found me bleeding out on my kitchen floor. She called the cops and they found Josh at a bar down the street; still wearing the shirt with my blood on it." I say.
"How come they never heard it before?" He ask cautiously
"She had just moved in and we lived in a neighborhood full of older people. Most of them couldn't hear well." I explain
"Oh." is all he says