Did you even care about me? You were my best friend, my favourite person, the reason why I used to wake up with a huge smile on my face and go to sleep just like I woke up. You walked away from me, you left me like nothing happened. What did I do? Was it something I said or did? Just tell me because this pain that I've got inside of me is killing me.
Don't you ever wonder who I am feeling right now? Don't you wonder if I'm in pain? You always said that you think of me daily but are you thinking about me right now? What if I go to the hospital at this exact moment, would you care? Would you be sad? Would you be at least concerned?
What happened to all those promises you used to tell me? Why are you doing this to me? No matter how far we are, no matter if you don't want to talk to me I need you more than anyone else. You took my heart as soon as you came in my life.
I don't care how much you're hurting me.
I don't care what people say.
I don't care how many people tell me to move on.
I don't care how many more messages you're going to ignore.
I don't care if you're going to text me after a month.
I'll always put you first.
I can't even think straight when you're not with me, I need to know if you're okay for my sake! How would I know if you're still alive? How would I know if you got chased by dogs? How would I know if you have seen a spider lately? I need to know everything that's been going on since the day you stopped talking to me.
I know, I am a pain.
I know, I am too attached to you.
But I did warned you, can you remember?
Can you remember what you told me on the 8th of August? Can you? If you don't, then let me remind you.
"Thank you for staying. It's the best promise you could tell me. I will do the same you don't need to worry about me leaving you cutie" or can you remember what you told me on the 10th of August? "I'll never let you out of my heart." What happened to all these things that you've told me? Did you really mean it?
I can't understand what made you leave me. Was it because I talk a lot or because I'm annoying?
Just in case you're wondering, I'm not fine at all. You're all I think about, even in the most crowded places. Sometimes just the thought of you makes my heart ache.
You know what's funny? The fact that a week ago, the thought of you made me blush and made my heart skip a beat but now it's the complete opposite and I hate it.
I hate the fact you're still the best thing that happened to me in a while.
I hate the fact that no matter how hurt I am, I'll still be by your side.
Because I'm keeping what I promised.
Why wouldn't you tell me that you wanted to stop talking to me instead of making me feel ten thousand times worse? I haven't heard from you in so long I've almost forgotten how it feels to be loved by a special person.
Although I'll never forget all the sweet things you used to tell me, I guess that's what it still keeps me going..
I look up at the starred sky and all I can see is this darkness that covers the bit of light that the stars have. There's this one thing you told that pops in my mind when I look at the sky, do you remember? "Babe never forget that whenever you need advices there are stars and I am one of them who's giving you the advice you are looking for." So why can't I find the reason why you are avoiding me.
You sparked light in me when I was dark.
You accepted me though I've got billions of flaws.
You believed in me, when I couldn't.
I admit that since you've been gone it has not been easy at all but I want to say thank you even though it broke me into so many pieces when you left.
But I want to say thank you even though you're still in my mind and I miss you every day more.
Thank you for making me want to be a better person and even though doing this without you by my side is probably one of the hardest things I've ever have to do.
Every time I look at my phone, I just hope that there's a notification from you but when it turns out that it isn't it breaks my heart. Do you feel the same?
I'm not mad, I'd never get mad at you or anyone for that matter. I'm just suffering. I'm in pain.
I guess that after every rainstorm there's always a rainbow, and boy you have no idea how excited for this painful rainstorm to end...
