meeting new people is like striking a match. either it lights or it doesn't. i've got a couple matches burning already, from friends i've made this year, in college. i moved across the country to go to study physiology, while most of my friends stayed near home. i've tried going out on a couple dates, after ending my past relationship, we couldn't do long distance. but no one really clicked. or i guess, lit my match. some of them sparked but died out almost instantaneously.
it's later that week, on a wednesday, i'm sat in a cafe waiting for another date to arrive. my friend, caleb, thinks it's fun to set me up and, too be honest, i don't mind too much. although i pretend to hate it, but no one really needs to know that. my date is already 20 minutes late and by this point i'm pretty sure i've been stood up, until a rush of air hits me and i look to see the source, a door swung open and a slightly disheveled lady stands holding onto the handle.
she quickly composes herself, brushing herself off, and heads to my table, her converse leaving small thuds on the tile floor. "you're sammi, i presume?" she asks, still catching her breath. "oh yeah, you must be lane." she provides a small smile and takes a seat. "sorry i'm so late, my shift went late, i work at the local bakery." she offers. "oh, i love that place!" the conversation flows easy, somehow getting from cakes to guinea pigs. the date ends with a kiss on the cheek and the promise of a second date.
it's been six months and 23 dates now. lane's moved jobs to the hospital about a half hour away. she leaves at five and gets back at nine, so i don't really see her much. we try to make it work though. we stay up late some saturday nights, when she doesn't have work the next day. we drink a lot and usually end up in bed, hungover the next morning. she drinks some water, gets up and goes out to get groceries we don't really need. she comes back, and helps me make dinner in silence.
the next morning she's gone by the time i wake up and back by the time i'm in bed. a goodnight is muttered and i lean over her to switch off the light. "hey, can we talk?" she asks, and i can hear the nerves in her voice. "yeah." i lean back instead of turning off the light. "i don't know how things are... working." she states, fidgeting with her fingers. "yeah, i know what you mean." i sadly agree.
"i mean, this is the only time i see you now most days, with my job and everything. it's getting hard to keep going." she explains. "okay, okay, okay. we're really doing this aren't we?" i realize. "i guess." "well then, should i go sleep on the couch?" "i think it's alright if you stay here, just don't, y' know." i answer with an awkward laugh. "well, goodnight... friend" she offers with a sad smile. she turns off the light and i turn away. "goodnight."
it's been three weeks now, after we ended things. we're getting used to no more kisses on the cheek. no coming up behind her and hugging her as she cooks. no more date nights. and that's okay. we're happier. our match lit. but baby, matches burn.
fin.
