Broken pieces (Lesbian Love Story)

I dont know

The chair to the left of me slowly scraped on the wooden floor and I turned my head. It was Amy.
She must've noticed that I looked at her because she looked right back at me. She lifted her hand up a bit and gave me a small wave.

   " you Sure you want to sit next to me? I might pass some of my crazy on to you " I mumbled.

she sighed and scooted her chair up a bit.

" that's not fair" i didn't think that she had heard what I said. From her expression it looked as if she felt bad.

I felt bad that day also though and That wasn't fair either. It's crazy to me how people can judge A person without knowing one spec of what has happened in their lives.

I know I shouldn't of felt bad but I did. Being looked at a certain way never went well with me. In reality it doesn't go well with anyone.

Being judged gives a person this feeling of worthlessness.

People sit there and try to convince themselves and everyone else that they don't give a fuck about another's opinion.

When In reality Thats bullshit. No one likes being judged.

"Not fair?" I chuckled and shook my head. " what isn't fair is you greeting me with all smiles and open arms one day , then I have a breakdown and all of a sudden the happy girl I met just disappears."

I shouldn't let something so little corrupt my mind. I've lost literally everything, I should be numb to what she thinks. My scars are way to deep.

" I didn't mean to make you feel bad" she grabbed her fork and passed it through her salad.

" the honest truth is that.." she took a deep breath

" I've been in that bad place before. The anxiety, the panic attacks. I felt that being next to you after seeing what had happened was going to put me right back into that bad place, like the memories of what I went through were going to come back and overwhelm me.."

"yes, a really really stupid reason. Trust me I know" she poked her fork into her salad and took a bite.

" being distant was how I automatically reacted" she
Spoke through the food in her mouth.

I'm so wrapped up in my own problems that I forget that the people around me have their own problems also. I kind of wanted to sympathize with her after that. I can't really blame her for trying to protect her own mental state. I wouldn't wish this disaster in my head on anyone else. Depression damn near sucks and Anyone that has it can tell you that.

" No actually . I'm sorry. I'm over here wondering to myself how you had the audacity to stand there that day and judge me without knowing anything about me, when I'm obviously doing the same"

" I'm making you out to be this bad person when I know nothing about you or what you yourself has went through, and you shutting yourself down is completely fine, people cope with certain things in different ways, I just felt like you were judging me you know." I shrugged.

" I was kind of a bitch when I first got here anyways" I playfully rolled my eyes and we both let out a small giggle.

" yeah you were" she joked.

" hey" I smacked her shoulder playfully and we both laughed.

After what was a good laugh, We sobered up.

"By the way you don't have to worry about anyone judging you here, We've all had it rough here you know. We know exactly how you feel"

I gave her a small smile. She's right, Each face here has a chapter full of stories behind it. Each chapter probably more gruesome then the other. I slowly turned my head towards Raven.

There's one book in particular that I want to read into and learn more about. The cover of this book slowly wheeling me in. I'm interested and I want to know more.

Amy cleared her throat and I turned my head. She was staring at me with this smirk.

" what? " I laughed.

" I see you staring " she winked.

" I was not staring " I tried to argue, knowing damn well That I actually was.
" oh please if I would've let you stare any longer, drool would've fell out of your mouth. " she took another bite of her food.

" don't be dramatic " I laughed

" so are you two you know " she made hand gestures.
" what?" I asked not knowing what she was trying to get at.

" you know.." She opened her mouth wide and started to move her tongue all over the place. Left, right, up and down

very rapidly.

I couldn't help but let out a laugh.

" come again " I asked through laughs.

" fucking " she blurted out. My mouth dropped.

Oh. My.god. She did not just..

" Amy. Language" said mrs.jefferson

I covered my face and slowly sunk down into my seat . The whole table must be staring right now.

" I assure you that this conversation is very educational mrs. Jefferson " Amy responded.

"Mhm " was all mrs.jefferson said.

After what felt like an hour, the chatter around the table started to rise again. I moved my hand from my face and looked up. Their attention was no longer on us so I sat up slowly.

" I can't believe you just did that " I looked at her

" they don't know what we're talking about, let them wonder" she was so calm about the situation. Meanwhile my cheeks were burning red.

" now back to what we were talking about " she smirked.

" no seriously were just friends, we literally just met Amy, there's nothing going on " I turned around and started to dig into my food.