This is war (Theo James)

03 ~ The cold hard truth

“no you can’t go home now and I love the smell you leave in the bed after you leave, it smells like apples and mint” Theo said thoughtful, pointing his nose to heaven, closing his eyes, like he could smell the scent I left.

“well, if you say it like that it sounds sort of creepy but okay, I’ll stay and leave some more of my apple scent” I said joking.

“let’s get you to sleep then and remember to wake me up whenever you can’t fall asleep okay?” He said and I nodded. I had woken him up way to many times, but he didn’t seem to grow tired of me. I was glad he didn’t.

We walked inside after saying goodnight to his friends and he brought me into his room. He cleaned it up already, doing so every time I came around.

“can you please just lay with me here?” I asked Theo as I laid on the bed,  burying my head in the pillow.

“sure” He laid down beside me, one arm under his head the other on his stomach. We were quiet for a few short minutes before I began to speak.

“I feel like all the energy that I wake up with, gets sucked out of my right away, you know? I have no source of energy left in this world, nothing can give me it anymore. It’s not only this war that is going on, on the streets and in this city, there’s also a war going on in my head” I didn’t really know what I spoke up or why I even said something like that out loud, but it felt good. It was the truth, the cold hard truth.

I was always tired, even though I slept throughout the whole night without waking up, it didn’t gave me energy.

“do you have a talent? Or something that you do when you feel like you’re going to explode?” Theo asked me and turned his head to my side.

“I don’t really think I have a talent, I like to be by myself in the woods. No gunshots, no voices, no one who can make me feel like shit or put me down, you know? It’s safe, on my own”

“but sometimes, a person can give you energy and beam you up. Before my parents died, I didn’t have a source of energy, just like you. But when they died, I was on my own all of the sudden I became independent, that’s when I met Shai and Ansel, they give me energy. They don’t judge or tell me what do to, but they’ll have my back no matter what, it’s great to know that” Theo said and as his words rang through me, his hand touched my hand, a tinkling sensation rang through my arm. I was shocked and pulled my hand away from under his touch.

“what’s wrong?” Theo asked as he sat up.

“why did you do that?” I said back as I sat up as well.

“what? Touch you? Seriously? People touch each other all the time, it was only friendly” Theo said as he stood up.

“yeah well, that doesn’t mean you can touch me.” I stood up as well and began to walk out of the door, but a warm, strong hand stopped me. “don’t touch me!” I pushed Theo backwards with all the force I had and he bumped into a small table with his back.

“what did you do that for?” he sounded angry, but he just had to understand that no one had ever touched me like that. The only time someone had taken my hand, it was Theo as well, but we were walking and it wasn’t a sweet gesture back then.

“leave me alone, I mean it”

“fine!”

Our first fight. The first fight I had with a friend, and I didn’t like it. When I was younger I wanted to fight with someone just to feel something and to have something going on. But when I finally had a fight, I felt heartbroken. I didn’t want to fight with Theo, he had been so sweet to me. he let me stay in his house, he let me eat his stolen food, he took care of me when I had a nightmare.