FINGERTIPS ║ Larry Stylinson

17 ║ Home And Bones

July 31st

When Louis took his shirt off and laid down next to Harry in his bed, he felt guilty to think Harry's blindness was a good thing. He didn't have to care about Harry finding him too fat or too pale, to tattooed or anything else. He didn't have to worry about being judged and criticised like Tamara used to do. So he just laid down behind Harry and slowly wrapped his arm around his bare chest. The feeling of his bare skin against the younger boy's felt almost too perfect and he moved closer, holding on the boy tightly. The curly haired boy chuckled a bit and wrapped his fingers around Louis' hand gently. Louis' chest seemed so cold against his back, it seemed almost unrealistic. Harry turned around slowly, his nose meeting Louis' and the latter moved away a bit to observe the young boy's face. He looked so pretty, like an angel. He wondered how he had managed to find Harry when everything was falling apart in his life. When everything around him seemed to get broken. Why at the moment where he had started questioning life. That seemed almost scary the way the curly haired boy's smile could make him forget all the pain, like his dimples were the only ointment that could calm the horrendous pain of his burns, like it was the stitches to his bleeding cuts, the cold wet towel on his forehead to make his headache leave, the hot honey milk for his sore throat. When Harry smiled, it was almost like the world around him was changing, suddenly Louis' black and white world was so flamboyant and colourful. He felt almost pressured. Harry was so beautiful, fit, his voice was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, his skin was so soft and his kisses were setting ablaze to Louis' chest. He was so smart and comforting, so mature for his age and that made Louis feel even less confident, his muscles tensed under the young boy's finger, making him frowned. He felt like he wasn't good enough. And he didn't know if he would ever feel good enough for someone. Each time he would look at his reflection, he wasn't able to keep his eyes on the curves of his hips, his almost feminine frame wasn't the one he wanted. He wished he looked more like Harry. But he was pretty much the contrary. Even though he was older, he was still smaller, while Harry was tanned and fit, he was so pale and felt so fat. But he was the opposite of fat, no fat could be seen under his skin, only bones and flesh. He would get bruised so easily and on his elbows and knees, his skin was a bit purple. It wasn't enough. It was never enough.

"Are you okay, Louis?" he asked in a low voice.
"Hold me and never let go..."

It sounded more like a question, but Harry didn't took a minute before opening his arms for Louis to sneak in his embrace. Louis felt so fragile, just there in between his arms as Harry was rocking him back and forth slowly. And suddenly, he could feel it, Harry's heart against his. Beating quickly under his own heart. It was... indefinable. It was almost hard to focus on his own heart beating. They were mixing, dancing together and not long after they seemed to beat at the same time, on the same rhythm. Louis smiled at that. He didn't want to move away, he didn't want to put his arms off Harry. He wanted to kiss him, hold him, listen to him, talk to him for the rest of his life. How could Louis feel so dependant after only one kiss? Louis turned his head a bit and kissed Harry's neck softly. Harry smiled and stroked his hair softly. He ran his other hand over Louis' bony back, his teeth clenched as his fingertips were sliding on his ribs and spine, feeling his bones just under the skin.

"Can I stay here forever?" Louis whispered in his ear.

Harry nodded. Of course he could. He wanted Louis to stay there as well. He wanted their skin stuck together and feel his heart beat against his own. Because it felt so special, so unique. It was something he had never experienced before, feeling his chest burn and get tighter with happiness. With this feeling of being the one he wanted to be. Yes he still needed to learn a lot of things to live the way he wanted to, but having Louis lying in his arms made it sound so much more possible. He felt like he could be the next man to walk on the moon. It seemed like he could become whatever he wanted and there would be no problem at all. So he tightened his arm around Louis' back, his fingers grabbing on his tiny waist. When Louis pulled away to lean against the bed head, Harry, who didn't want to stop the feeling of his skin burning against Louis' freezing chest, rolled on his size and slid his cheek against Louis' stomach. He wrapped his arms around Louis' hips and for a second the latter froze, his heart almost stopped beating in his chest before he ran his hand into the bunch of curls, brushing them gently. His hair was so shiny and soft, he could brush them for hours without being tired of it.