Freshmeat.

02 first embarrassments

The words "I don't want to do this." dripped from my tongue as the sun shon through my blinds. I couldn't imagine how much worse school would've been if I was not a morning person, and I thanked Amelia for dragging me out to see sunrises all my life.

After 10 minutes of staring at the sky, I decided it was probably time to pull myself out of bed. I stretched, showered and tried to prepare for the worst. My makeup routine did not take long compared to the amount I wore in the past, but ultimately got way too lazy. I brushed tinted gel through my brows, blended orange shadow through my eyes, mascara through my lashes and put on my lip stain & a gloss. My outfit stared me in the face, and visions of being laughed at engulfed my mind. I was sure that 90% of the girls would wear jeans or leggings or something - not being pretentious, I don't think I'm better than them, but I always thought the worst which caused me to assume people would dislike my clothes. It's whatever.

When I got dressed, my confidence returned; the skirt made my thighs look great, but also look like I'd instantly get dress coded. A shame. The cold metal sent a shiver down my spine as I secured my choker around me, what's the code on jewellery?

Looking at the clock I realised I didn't have time to overthink; It was 6:56 and I needed to leave before 7:15 if I wanted to make it on time. I cracked open my door, expecting all the babes to be asleep still - I wouldn't blame them. But Stella stood awake, "good morning sunshine," she said to me, as I constructed a wave from my achey fingers. She moved from in front of the counter, revealing a tray of French toast and orange juice, paired with a packed lunch in the cutest bag I'd ever seen. I hugged her, and she told me it wasn't all her - the others were just too lazy to stay up to say surprise.

I quickly ate my food and drank my OG, placing the packed lunch into my backpack. The time was almost 7:15 - aka time for me to make a move. I literally only had a vague idea as to where my school was, seeing as the lack of a responsible parent in the household meant I did not end up visiting the school before today - which left my hopeless & small self to navigate this route.

I hugged Stella goodbye, "Good luck out there, be safe and don't talk to weird seniors - or do - if they're cute!" I giggled as the door slammed shut. Making the commute from a small apartment building, onto a busy street and into a train was very different from my mother driving me from our big home everyday. A stranger asked me for some change and that was more than I'd ever spoken to someone on my way to school. Since Amelia had left, at least.

I made sure to carefully inspect my surroundings, taking in the bustling NYC natives rushing, skateboarding and jogging their way to whatever the hell they do. I almost tripped over nothing as I crossed the street 4 times - clumsiness was another aspect of myself that made me stray further from Amelia, who embodied a goddess who id honestly never seen embarrass herself.

After almost taking a wrong train, and then almost taking a wrong bus, I finally made it to what I was pretty sure was my stop. The stream of teens also reassured me that I was in the right place, causing my nerves to ease a little - at least I'd made it here. Our schedules had been mailed to us previously, so I knew I had a history class first, in the humanities corridor on the second floor... class... "2B" I said out loud to remind myself.

I walked and walked and walked, following kids into the intimidating building that I really didn't want to go into. My school wasn't on the bad side of the neighbourhood, but it wasn't exactly the best school either. Plus, 18 year olds are scary and I planned to avoid them at all costs and stay out of everyone's way, which I was sure is what would happen since I'm just a freshman.