Harry Styles Imagines

81.Still Love You

Song of this imagine: (seriously listen to it)
Pills n potion by Nikki Minaj
13 by LANY

They could never make me hate you
Even though what you was doing wasn't tasteful.

Our love was toxic. Even when we met, were intoxicated. But I still love him. With all my being.

I sat in the balcony, relaxing in the cool breeze of September. A hot cup of coffee in my hand while I stare at the view of the city in front of me. Its probably two in the morning, but I don't care. All my mind was thinking about was him. Loads of question rants my head and I can't shut the up. I took the last drag of my cigarette and dumped it on the ashtray. The questions filled up my mind again.

Is he okay? Where is he? Is he drinking? Is he drinking too much? Is he with someone else?

Okay, the last question broke my heart and crushed it till it lose blood. My cheeks feels tight because of all the crying from a while ago. Voice is hoarse from the unstoppable shouting and all I wanted to do is to forget. My body craves for sleep but my mind wouldn't let me. My whole being craves for him too much and I want him now. Even if I push him away just two hours ago.

We fought because of stupid pointless things. These past few days he's been so distant. I missed the old him.

That guy that would stay up late with me even if he's so sleepy just so I could have someone to talk to. That guy who would sing me songs to wake me up in the morning. That guy who would remind me I'm beautiful even if I look like a fucking mess. That guy who would spoil me when I'm on my period. That guy who would say he loves me million times a day so that I wouldn't forget. I miss him. I miss my Harry.

I've been texting him every now and then. But he ignores it. I called him for thirty times already but he also ignores it. My blood must be boiling right now and I should feel anger. But no. All I could feel was pain and fear. Fear that he might not come home to me again. That he might be with someone else and that he chooses her over me. God, that would hurt so much. I wanna talk to him. I love him and I don't wanna lose him. Not in a million years.

Yes, I've said a lot of hurtful things to him before but he did worse. He hurt e before but I know he didn't mean it so I just forgive him. I caught him kissing a girl in a club twice. But I chose to forgive him as well and that's because I love him. My friends told me I was too blind to see that he's changing and not like the Harry they used to know. My love for Harry was way too powerful than the anger that I must feel. I almost lose my friends just for defending him against them.

My heart picks up its pace when I heard our front door being opened and shut. Which means he's here. Should I go back to bed and pretend that I'm asleep? Or should I just confront him about our situation. I know Harry pretty well to know that he's drunk and when he's drunk, he's not good to deal with. But before o even make a decision, the door of our room was pushed open. I stood up and our eyes immediately met. His deep green sea eyes were bloodshot and he looks a complete mess. My feet brought me inside our room and in front him.

"Y-You're back.." I breathed. He shifted his eyes somewhere but my face.

"Yeah." He's voice was groggy and I could smell the vodka and tequila from our five inches proximity.

I sighed and said, "I'm sorry for saying those awful things to you. I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"You don't have to apologize, baby. None of this is your fault." He sighed. "Its was mine. All along. Right from the start, I knew I don't deserve you,"