The Life and Death of Girl Unknown (UNDER REVISION AND EDITING)

Chapter 45: Bread and Wine.

That afternoon I asked Chibs if he could go and get Percy from School at three o'clock because I promised him if Grampa came while he was at School then he'd get to ride on the back of his bike. Chibs was more than happy to go and retrieve the overly excited little boy. Chibs said that Abel was excited his big cousin was coming back. Him saying that brought me back to the somber feeling I felt this morning. Abel has lost his mom and dad, and his Grandma; I can relate to him in a weird way. I know that Wendy and Nero are going to take good care of those boys but it still made me feel sad for them.

I suppose Chibs figured something was up with me since later that night he and I sat together alone outside. He told me that I was probably the strongest woman he's ever met. He added that I didn't need to be that strong but I did. If I wasn't strong all the shit that I've held together over the last year will come apart, everything will unravel.

"I want to blame someone for all this shit but I can't. There's nobody I can blame but myself. Some days I want to scream and yell and just leave Juice because he does so much hurtful shit that I don't know how I'm able to forgive him. But I've done a lot of hurtful things to Juice that he doesn't even know about. I'm sure he'd feel the same way if he knew them." I told Chibs quietly, wiggling my toes in the cool grass.

"You're talking about the dirty little secret you and Gemma had?" I nodded. "–Just tell the lad. He'll yell and scream and he'll probably sleep on the couch but he'll never leave you. The idiot loves you too damn much. He loves his kids more. He loves his family, you're his family. Aye, I can see why you'd hate him a little bit, after everything that's happened recently, after everything he's put you through; I'd want to pack up and leave him too. But he did what was right for his family, just like you did what was right for your family. Back then and with the Mayans" Chibs' advice was brutal and raw but it was honest. I was scared that if Juice finds out that I had an abortion at the very beginning of our relationship he will be so hurt that he will leave me and never come back. I've done so much horrible shit for him.

"Alright, I think that's the last of them." Juice cheerfully announced, closing the doors on the moving truck with a wide smile. Percy was so happy to go back there, it reminded me of the excitement I had when I left for Charming that fateful night.

I grinned at him as his arms wrapped around my middle to pull me close to him. Beau was safely nestled between our bodies. I had her securely placed in her favourite sling. It's honestly her favourite place to be, and since I have two other kids that need love and attention I need both of my hands free so the slings and wraps make sense to me. She's very rarely not on me. I've even had Juice wear her on his back a couple of times while he was working in the garage.

"So, what's the plan?" I asked curiously, knowing that I'll have to be in the same car as Daylon and Beau but that's it.

"Aye, the plan is: Juice and you are going to take Juice's bike back. I'll drive the kids with Tig while the others take the vans. We'll reach Charming by this afternoon and spend the day helping yous unpack and then we're going to go down to the courthouse and you two are going to get married finally. Wendy and Nero are gonna take the boys for that night and bring them back in the morning. And if you're ready, they'll take Beau too." Chibs butted in with a serious but lighthearted tone. Juice and I looked over at him, both of us smiling with flattery.

"I think that sounds like a good plan, what do you think, babe?" Juice stated, his arms still tangled around me. I could hear the smile on his face. I turned my attention to him. I was right, his usual goofy smile was still pressed across his bright face. Juice has been so radiant and bashful lately. It's like I have the old him back again. But I know that it's not going to last long when we get back to Charming.