What doesn't Kill You (working title)

Chapter Three

Marjan nodded slowly, kicking off her shoes, and picking up the little stack of papers.

"Here's your homework," she said, "The Principal said that you were to get a little extra for skipping class."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically as I took the papers from her. There was no way I was going to be able to finish all of this tonight.

Marjan and I walked upstairs. She was slower than me, stopping every three steps to catch her breath. I tried to slow my own pace, though it was challenging. I was pretty certain I could run up and down the stairs ten times and still beat her.

When we walked into my room Marjan collapsed on my bed.

"I feel like I just climbed a mountain," she said. She side-glanced at me as I took a seat in my desk chair. "Why aren't you tired?"

"I don't know," I said, "I guess my medicine is working better."

She furrowed her brow. It wasn't surprising that she doubted me, no one ever felt better from the medication.

"Do you sometimes wish that the Disease had just killed you at the beginning?" Marjan said. "I wonder sometimes what kind of life this is."

I could feel my face getting hot. It was difficult to know who you could trust in this world, but Marjan and I had been best friends since we were babies.

"Maybe sometimes," I said. "I do wish sometimes that it had just killed me in the beginning."

"Yeah," Marjan sighed, "I guess some of us will get our wish. You know, when the money runs out." A tear was running down Marjan's cheek. I stood up and walked towards her, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Hey," I said, "Are your parent's doing okay?"

"No," she said sadly, "Dad says that we will only have enough money for three months more of treatment. Then I'm not sure what we'll do."

"There are fundraiser options..." I said, "Some people raise enough money to buy a little more time..." Marjan scoffed.

"Always buying more time." She said, "As if that's all we can do in this life. Constantly buy more time. But eventually all our time will run out. What if we never get to be adults Steph? Or get married? Or have babies?"

A tear glistened in her eyes and I wanted so badly to comfort her but I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't know if my secret would bring her happiness or pain. I wasn't even sure what it had bought me other than the knowledge that we're all living lies. I didn't even have a plan of how to change anything. But I knew how she felt... it was why I had planned to kill myself in the first place.

"I guess all we can do is hope."

"Hope?" Marjan said, "What a pointless way to live. Always off of hope. Hope for what? That the Disease will be cured? As if, we both know that even if there was a cure no one would sell it to the general populace. It's better for the government if we're all sick."

We both looked around at her words. My computer was off. The blinds were closed. But we always sensed that somehow, some way, the Department of Disease control were watching. I turned towards Marjan's hopeless eyes and lowered my voice significantly.

"What if I told you there was a cure?" I said. Her eyebrows furrowed over her narrowed eyes.

"I'd call you a liar." She said. I glanced at the door and the window.

"If I tell you something, do you swear that you'll keep it a secret?"

"Yes."

"But like, seriously keep it a secret. Take it to your grave."

"I may be headed there soon," she said, "So I might not even be holding it for long. What is it?"

"Okay," I said, leaning forwards so my lips were nearly pressing against her ear. "I wasn't at school today because I was planning on not taking my medication and dying."

"WHAT?"

"Shush!"

Marjan leaned away from me, many emotions playing on her face.

"Why would you do that?" she whispered.

"I was tired," I said, "of the same things you are. Tired of living to die. Tired of my dad working so hard just so we can buy more medicine. I just didn't want to do it anymore."

"So what happened?" she said, "Did you chicken out?"

"No," I said, "I didn't take my medicine. I went to the forest and waited to die but nothing happened. In fact, I feel better."

"I don't know if I believe you..." Marjan said.

I stood up and walked to my desk. I pulled out my make-up remover and began to wipe my face. As my pale skin turned into flushed cheeks Marjan's jaw dropped.

"No way..." she said, "Is it all a lie?"

"I'm not sure..." I said. "I don't know what to think. But I feel like I've woken up to a dreaming world. And I want to wake everyone else up too."

"I want to be awake," she said. "I'm not sure what to think."

"Me neither."

Silence encompassed us slowly as we both fell deeply into our thoughts. I began to study my body for negative symptoms, but no signs of sickness were upon me.

"I want to do it too." Marjan said, "Tomorrow. Let's skip school so I can be awake too."

"I don't know," I said, "I thought about it for a long time before I did it. Maybe you should wait and sleep on it."

"No," she said, "I'm done with this. If you missed your dose and you're okay, then it must all be a lie. Will you come with me and be by my side?"

"Of course," I said, "Then what?"

"I'm not sure." Marjan said, a brightness consuming her complexion I'd never seen before. "Maybe once we're sure the Disease is a hoax we can start a Rebellion against the Monarchy!"

"Shush!" I said, glancing at the window. "Keep your voice down. They could hear you."

"It doesn't matter," she said, "Tomorrow, we can start our fight towards freedom and life!"

"Tomorrow we'll talk more about it," I said.

"No I've made up my mind," Marjan said, "Meet me by the back doors of the school at 8:30."

"Okay," I said. Excitement filled my heart. It was nice to have someone to share this secret with. I wasn't truly sure what a few teenagers could accomplish against the Monarchy, but they had been underestimating us for too long. And I was feeling bright eyed and ready to fight.