My critiques in bold
Name: Aspenblossom
Okay, decent
Age: 34 moons (47-70 at death)
The age seems fine
Appearance: a lanky fawn cream tortoiseshell with green eyes, has long feathery fur and a long tail that is slightly bent from a training accident.
Realistic, always a good idea
Gender: She-cat
The name suggested it.
Personality: a strict yet motherly queen, she has experience under her paws due to her age, she was an average land hunter and fighter, she was best while swimming for prey to catch, has little interest in herbs, her tail was caught during a training accident, not fleet footed. Tracking was her best skill.
Seems a little on the negative side for personality but still decent.
Strengths: she is a great swimmer and tracker.
Reasonable
Weaknesses: Fighting, land hunting
Makes sense
Flaws: short tempered and fretful
Good enough
Clan: RiverClan (Canon)
PageClan(fan made)
Strengths suggested the RiverClan.
Rank: Queen
Of course, but uncommon to see
Backstory: Since she was a kit she was never very adventurous, her brother Brambletail was known to be adventurous, and she wanted to stay in the nursery, when she became an apprentice it was leaf fall so she had to endure leaf bare to become a warrior. Her tail was caught on a fallen log causing it to bend. Though she caught greencough during that leaf bare, luckily it didn't progress to blackcough. Slowly she recovered and when new leaf came she passed her warrior assessment, her weak area was hunting on dry land. Soon she grew close to Pinesnow and had his kits, Volepelt, Cinderleaf, and Minnowpelt. Minnowpelt came in a later litter and she decided stay in the nursery after a difficult kitting. She protected the nursery when three snakes found there way into the camp. She later catches greencough again and dies as an elder.
Seems like a pretty average life of a warrior
Death: Greencough at 47- 70 moons
Not every cat has to die in battle her age isn't bad either for time of death.
Other:
I'd say Aspenblossom is a pretty decent cat, not every cat has to be leader or medicine cat or have a prophecy by being "special" and chosen by StarClan, it says she died of greencough which is common in the books.
