the desperate ones ✓

yellow hair for a blue boy

<2:16 am, Thursday>

Josh woke Tyler up in the middle of the night by showing up at his apartment door with a bag of unpopped popcorn, a six pack of Vanilla Coke, seven movies, and hair dye. Tyler shouldn't be surprised by Josh's ridiculous and unpredictable behavior, but at two in the morning?

Patrick and Pete were still asleep when Tyler answered the door, so it wasn't hard for him to get out of the apartment without them hearing. Tyler closed the door behind him, being extra careful not to slam it.

"Dude, it's past two in the morning," he hissed. "I have a class at eight tomorrow. Do you ever sleep?"

Josh raised an eyebrow. "Do you?"

Tyler groaned and rubbed his burning eyes. Sure, he hadn't actually been asleep when Josh showed up, but Tyler wasn't going to admit that he was right.

"Can we do this tomorrow?" Tyler asked.

Josh shook his head. "Nope. Tonight."

"More like today."

Josh grinned and held up the Coke. "So, my apartment? Abigail's at a friend's house, and she advised me not to be alone tonight."

Tyler rolled his eyes but complied. They were running out of time, anyways. Only two weeks left until-

"I'll just grabs some stuff and leave a note for Pat and Pete so they don't think I was abducted or some shit," Tyler said, going back into his apartment and grabbing a sticky note.

It read: SLEPT AT JOSHS. DONT FREAK OUT.

He grabbed a strap bag and stuffed a pair of clothes and his tooth brush, wrapping his medication in his socks. When Tyler was done, he tossed his bag in the back seat of Josh's car and they left.

"So, why again do you want to dye your hair such an obnoxious shade of yellow?" Tyler grinned, rolling his window down.

The weather had begun to cool, leaving the misty chill in the air that Tyler loved. The smell of dew and rain made life easier. It gave him peace of mind.

"My last attempt at being my own person, I guess. I also want to piss off the coroner who has to deal with me," Josh joked. "Imagine me showing up on a slab with this head of this bioluminescent shit, like I dyed it with glow in the dark hair dye. My corpse will be the most vibrant of all the corpses."

Tyler laughed, sticking his hand out the window and spreading his fingers to feel the wind. "Maybe I ought to give that a try. Not dying my hair a radioactive color, but trying to be my own person."

He bit his lip before proceeding. "Do you ever think about what would happen if we didn't... go through with this?"

Josh glanced over at Tyler and laughed. "What the hell are you talking about? We'd just suffer some more. Might I remind you that we've been planning this for months? And you want to back out now?"

"I didn't say I wanted to back out," Tyler said. "I'm just saying... don't you feel like things might get better? I mean, I got a new job, our old friends- well most of them- are back in our lives, and they're going to need a drummer when Chris goes on his mission trip in January."

They pulled into the parking lot. Josh stopped the car in his normal stop and turning to face Tyler.

"What exactly do I have going for me?" He asked shortly. "My nonexistent music career? My college dropout certificate? An abusive mom? An oblivious dad? Siblings that are just as fucked up as me and might kill themselves before I do? How about the friends I haven't seen in years that probably secretly hate me for leaving them behind? Or maybe it's you, the kid who I fell in love with several times who wants to kill themselves too? Because I swear to whatever omnipotent force in the sky that doesn't exist, Tyler, I'm in so much pain right now that not even liquor or weed or even the medication I'm taking can help me anymore."

Tyler swallowed, his throat going dry. He opened his mouth to speak, but the only thing that came out was a strangled "I'm so sorry."

Josh sighed and rubbed his eyes. "No, I'm sorry. I'm just tired is all. But I'm not backing out."

He stopped the car and reached between the seats to grab the bags from the backseat. While doing so, his sleeve pulled up halfway up his arm. Tyler inhaled sharply as he stared at Josh's arm before he sat back forward.

"I thought you stopped," he whispered.

Josh looked at Tyler then back at his arm. "I guess old habits die hard. Now, are you going to dye my hair or am I going to have to do it myself?"

The walked silently into Josh's apartment. It was more of a mess than the last time Tyler had been there, only a couple days before. Papers littered the floor, and ash trays were filled to the brim. Tyler even saw an empty bottle of whiskey stuck out from underneath Abigail's bed.

Josh turned the bathroom light on and sat on the edge of his bathtub. "Ready?"

Tyler nodded, closing the door behind him and pulling the dye box from the bag. He read the instructions, fumbling a Coke to get open.

"Okay, we have to bleach your first." He opened the box and took out a small bottle of bleach and plastic gloves. Josh pulled a towel off the rack and wrapped it around his shoulders.

Tyler ducked below the sink and searched for a mixing bowl that Josh surely had from dying his hair before. He grabbed it and dumped the powder in, pouring the developer with it. As Tyler mixed, Josh had hooked his phone up to a small speaker and blasting music.

"How's Abigail been?" Tyler asked, trying to initiate conversation, which he was absolutely horrible at.

Josh laughed. "She's fine. Still working hard as ever, but she's off her meds now."

"That's good." Tyler walked over to Josh, combing his hair hair with a brush from the counter. "Ready to go, Johnny Bravo?"

"Ready when you are, Stanford."