Hogwarts Hit List /Marauders Era/

24. Hogwarts Hit List - Dear Peter.

Dear Peter

Chapter 24.

Dear Peter,
This letter isn't just to you, it's to mum too, and the boys, and Theo, because I love you all more than anything in this world and leaving you this soon is the last thing I ever want to do. These past few days have been the worst ever, getting called a blood traitor isn't new to me but there are muggleborn's that hate me now, too, who don't agree with killing, who don't agree with murder and it's very understandable, I suppose.

There was a boy, and his name was Jamie. He was a Gryffindor and he asked me to Hogsmeade, I didn't say yes, I said I had plans and it wasn't really true but I didn't want to go to Hogsmeade with him, anyway. I saw him just ten minutes later, and he was screaming at a muggleborn, calling them dirty blood, it was horrible.

I had been getting a lot of attention from McGonagall who was trying to stop me from using violence, and she wasn't hesitating with the detentions so I took another route. I lured him to the black lake, and I told him to stop, to stop being so mean. I was just trying to scare him, that's all I wanted to do, I just wanted him to stop being so mean.

He called me crazy, he threatened to tell McGonagall, he was going to sell me out. So, I slit his throat.

I dumped his body in the black lake and I carried on with my life, noticing that muggleborn's where happier without his presence, that they didn't have one of the many people they harassed around the castle. Most people underestimated me, so I wasn't in many rumours, I was in a few but it wasn't anything too extreme, no one really cared much about me, they thought it was to do with the dark lord, that maybe they were running off to serve for him, that seemed most logical.

I hate the fact that the killing felt good, it felt satisfying, to get people who deserved it out of the castle. The second killing was a Slytherin, so was the last, but second to last was a Ravenclaw, and she used to be my best friend, and every killing up until hers felt good, but hers wasn't rewarding, I killed her, and ever since then I've found myself regretting it.

I regret it for James, and for his family, because she wasn't a good person, and I don't think there was any saving her, no matter how much I wish I could have, she felt that she was better, and no one can stop her from thinking that. She terrorised Theo, she was the loudest to shout those vile words at him, she hated him, so did her new friends, they made his life miserable, and he could live with that so I did nothing, I let it happen, I let them shout those things at him because he didn't care about it, no matter how angry it made me.

But then she did what she did, something that send my anger into blinding rage, she threatened Remus, and I couldn't have that. It's not Remus' fault that I can't control myself, that my anger was turned to fury, but he didn't deserve what she was going to do, and I love the boys so much, you're my brother Peter, but so are they, and I couldn't imagine her hurting Remus that way, I wouldn't allow it, she shouldn't be allowed that type of control, I wasn't going to let her get away with that.

Everyone that I killed did something, it wasn't random deaths, they were killed because of their hatred, and there was so many better ways to stop it, I know, I'm so, so sorry for this Peter, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry as your sister, as the girl who has tried to protect you out of everyone else, I failed you, I failed everyone and it's not fair. The world isn't fair anymore. I'm a blood traitor. My boyfriend is a muggleborn, and that shouldn't be a bad thing, but apparently in this day and age, in the wizarding world, under the control of Voldemort, it's a bad thing.