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dependency

I thought I had someone that meant something. I thought I had someone to depend on. But she left, too.

Am I not enough? What is it about me that repels everyone, even the people from which my own flesh is made?

How can I recover without someone to depend on? Alone has never been a word in my vocabulary, although I feel its effects every day of my life and struggle to drink it through a straw.

Why would she leave me Alone with them when she knows how I feel?

Why do I feel like I need her to breathe? Why did I think she would unclog my lungs?

More rags have been stuffed down my throat now after her departure, and I am gasping for air more now than I ever have. I cling to passers-by, but I can't find her to rip the rags from my throat.

I'm Alone.