Echoes Into Eternity

IV

 I tucked the shoebox under my arm, unsure of what to do with myself or my mood. The air was cold and bit at my exposed fingers as I stepped outside. It was an otherwise beautiful Sunday afternoon.

Both of my parents seemed to be pleased with my objective to get out of the house, even if it was just for a walk. They worried about me isolating myself after Owen's death and the bus accident; if they didn't hint that to me in conversation, their concerned expressions were enough.

Hopefully they didn't question me about where I went after I came back home. I think the destination would bring alarm to their parental radars, and I didn't want that. The visit to Owen's grave really wasn't a big deal.

Or, at least, it wasn't supposed to be.

I felt that was the only piece of him I had left. The papers in the box couldn't possibly make me miss him any less. Nothing would be able to fill that role in my life besides Owen himself. Even if he was real, how could we be the same after spending a year apart? What could possibly explain his death and disappearance? Why would he show up now?

While I wanted to hold out hope for his life, there were too many opposing questions for him to be real. However, I pushed my doubts aside and focused on the atmosphere around me. I concentrated on every footstep and every breath. My mind clung to little details; all of this just to escape my fear of insanity.

The graveyard was about twenty minutes from my house. I passed by Grant's residence, only to see no signs of life there. Out of a false hope, I knocked on the door and entered to find no one. Nothing unusual was brought to my attention. Grant had fled. For what reason, I didn't know.

I sighed as I descended the steps, then walked the rest of the way.

The gravestone looked the same as it had for the past year. Every time I visited, his name was still etched into the granite with his date of birth and death proclaimed below it. I clutched the box in my hands, gazing down at the rock. The emotion I felt at first had become numb, but now, it confused me.

Should I be sad about his death? Or sad about losing my mind over him?

I pressed my lips together and looked toward the water in the pond. It shimmered peacefully, rippling in response to the breeze. I turned away from the gravestone and wandered to the edge of the water. I sat the box aside and climbed up on the boulders that encircled the edge of the oasis.

For a moment, I closed my eyes. The smell of salt hung in the air, a result of living so close to the ocean. It was comforting in the time of confusion.

Then, I decided not to wait anymore for answers. Owen had to have saved me in the crash. Grant left because of this information -- that had to be the only reason for his disappearance. I was clearly out of the loop.

I opened my eyes and sat down. My eager hands snatched the box and popped open the lid to reveal the folded papers. I took the first one carefully and turned it over in my hand. On the side that wasn't folded, someone had scrawled "11th Birthday" on it.

Desperation seized me. I flipped open the paper to see it addressed to Owen. A letter. The date did say it was written on his eleventh birthday, like the label informed. Scrunched writing took up the entire page, top to bottom. At the end were the words, "We love you and miss you. Love, Mom and Dad".

I gasped.

There was no way.

I tucked the eleventh letter under my leg, then dug into the box. There were seventeen letters in all, each one a year after another. The first was a year after Owen was born. The last was for his seventeenth birthday.