Chapter 1

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Lost in this abyssal world

Losing my identity too

Somebody's compassion seeking

So that I can walk through

I am done with day's college a bit earlier than I use to. Passing through that college gate, I had the same thought that I always had, thinking about same thing like it was the part of my life, and that was the chore that must be done. Step by step moving alone with neck bent, taking headphone out of my bag and untying it and seeing the world around me; people were laughing in groups and were so happy.

I asked myself when I would be happy like that.

But before that, would I ever be?

Could I?

Sighed and said to myself, "forget it", seeing the mark on the headphones for L and R because someone told me that one must put the particular headphone in the mentioned ear which is a safe practice. I put the end in ears and other end was hanging between my legs and I was walking with heads down. But why head down? Was I green-eyed or was I upset? I don't know but what I knew was that I was alone and I had to walk alone.

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A little smile on the face when see someone, if they offered to stand and a little talk with them, I always left like being grateful and a word, thanks! I always knew that was a formality and I am not really being welcomed. Same was being done today. I reached my room, I have it rented and owner is really good. He lives on the top floor and it was third floor. I am on the second floor and room isn't too spacious but I am comfy in there. Being alone is halcyon as I know because there is no one in the room except myself; I am not being ignored or unloved. My room's window faced the front facade of the building.

_____

Today was a different day from others. I went in bed, moved all my clothes back to my chair, few fell down on the floor but who cared, I was too lazy to place them all in order. About my bed, always full of clothes, messed up sheet and blanket, and you need to search for pillow in that mess. I always have to move all that stuff to my chair before I actually could sleep. I was lying on bed with listening music right in my ears after being too tired. I just had closed my eyes and I fell to sleep. When I woke up, was hungry and went to the mess expecting good meals but I forgot not to expect good from life, hence I went to bistro nearby to have some good food. By nearby, I mean it is not really that near. It is good over a mile of walk away. Listening to the music, I reached there and had my meals. I washed my hands and was standing right in front of the bistro, out of it thinking-

"What to do now?" I asked myself.

"Should I go back to room now?"

"Nah, I will be bored off there."

"Should I go and see someone?"

"Nope, better I spend time on my own."

"Yes a good plan but where, in the same old park?"

"Yea ok let's go there, will listen some music and enjoy."

With this conversation in my head, I headed to the park. From this bistro, I had to walk through a street which was famous as Love Street as lot of couples use to sit there and have their talk and fun. It is due to the reason that there are too many of private hostels for students and paying guests rooms. I reached the park listening to my song and was watching these couples all happy and talking and relaxing. I sat on one of the vacant benches there although this park was a place where you won't find an empty bench until midnight at least.

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