The Bad Pun

Laughayette And Ha-Ha-Hamilton

Who was the worlds first carpenter? Eve, because she made Adams banana stand

Me: I Wish I had been born 1000 years ago. Friend: Why is that?
Me: Just think of all the history that I wouldn't have to learn!

How do you to play War of 1812? You burn down a White House.

What is a snakes favorite subject in school? Hissssstory

What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act? They licked the British.

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims

What was King Arthur's favourite game? Knights and crossed

What was Camelot? A place where people parked their camels!

What do history teachers make when they want to get together? Dates!

What do history teachers talk about on dates? The good old days

What do you call a detective from the reformation? Martin Sleuther.

Who was the biggest thief in history? Atlas. He held up the whole world!

Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons? He wanted to Mark Antony!

Why did Eve want to move to New York? She fell for the Big Apple !

What did Noah do for a job? He was an arkitecht!

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell? Yeah, it cracked me up too!

Why does history keep repeating itself? Because we weren't listening the first time!

Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights !

What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.

Why did Arthur have a round table? So no one could corner him !

Why was the King a foot tall? Because he was a ruler.

Where did Suleiman the Magnificent go when he needed something to rest his feet on? The OTTOMAN Empire

What was the most popular dance in 1776? Indepen-dance.

Why did Columbus cross the ocean? To get to the other tide.

Where did Montezuma go to college? Az Tech.

How did Vikings communicate at sea? By Norse code !

Why did people hate Ho Chi Minh? He was hanoiing.

Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring? Because April showers bring Mayflowers!

What was Camelot famous for? It's knight life!

What explorer was the best at Hide and Seek? Marco Polo.

Why didn't Socrates like the French fries? Because they were made in ancient Greece.

What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? It can't sit down.

Why was the Pharoah boastful? Because he Sphinx he's the best

What kind of music did the world listen to during medieval times? B flat.

When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight? When they had lots of sleepless knights !

Why did John change his last name to "Hancock"? Because it was better than John Foot Penis.

What's got six reverse gears and one forward gear? A French tank.

The forward gear is in case they get attacked from behind.

What do French recruits learn in basic training? How to surrender in 17 different languages.

What do Nazis eat for breakfast? Luftwaffles!

Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington's army? Laughayette!

Who invented fractions? Henry the 1/6th !

Why were the dark ages so dark? Because there were so many knights.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/schooljokes/historyjokes.html