Small Pieces of Me

Chapter 2: How can a girl so hot be so weird?

There were only a few things in my life that I could predict with textbook accuracy. The main one being Logan climbing in through my window every morning. Without welding the window shut, permanently, there was no way of keeping Logan away from it, or anything else she set her mind to. It drove my mom crazy, but thank God she didn’t know that Logan smoked next to the open window. My mom always lectured her about the possibility of Logan snapping her neck while breaking and entering into my room.

I walked out of the steaming bathroom with a towel wrapped around my waist and dried my hair before getting hit in the face with a shirt.

“You should stop letting your mom shop for you,” Logan said as she rummaged through my closet.

“I don’t really care about clothes,” I stated and heard a dramatic sigh escape Logan’s mouth. She turned quickly to lecture me on my lack of fashion sense.

“That’s the problem retard. You don’t care and you end up looking all… Special Olympics meets momma’s boy. That will never get you laid. Also, hanging around Charlie.” Things that flew into her head made their way out of her mouth the second her brain could formulate a sentence. I loved that about her even though it made some people uncomfortable. Just as Logan finished her little rant my mom came in and shook her head.

“Logan!” My mom said. “How many times have I told you to use the door?” It was as if my mom felt it was her duty to parent Logan even though Logan never took it seriously.

“You love me!” Logan said and gave my mom the brightest smile. My mom huffed and shook her head. “I’m practising my ninja skills Carol. I’ll be saving infants from burning buildings in no time.”

My mom loved Logan but gave me that ‘where do you find your friends’ look. “Logan, go get some breakfast and you, hurry up and get dressed. Charlie is devouring the contents of our fridge as we speak.”  My mom walked out and I made a point to yawn as loud as possible. I wanted  Logan to stop messing up my closet.

“Tired?” She said unimpressed.

“Uh… Yeah. Us humans need regular sleep to somewhat function,” I said.

“Well, I certainly am an exception.” She scoffed, but she was right.

“You’re a freak of nature. They should study you and extract the stuff that runs through your veins and put that shit into Red Bull.” I joked as she threw a ‘Logan approved’ outfit at me. I went to the bathroom to change.

While I put my pants on I heard Logan muttering to herself. “My name is Josh and I’m a whiny little bitch because I don’t get enough sleep and I can’t get laid because girls think I ride the short bus.” She went on longer but I had the blow-dryer going for a minute. When I emerged from the bathroom, Logan was sprawled out on my bed staring at the ceiling in deep thought.

“Josh?” She said without looking in my direction.

“Yep...” I said knowing that it was one of the words she hated. She rolled her eyes.

“Does it hurt?” She asked.

“Does what hurt?” I said. I was confused.

“Does it hurt when you try to lick bus windows with your special helmet on? I’ve always wondered about that. Like, does your neck and jaw hurt from the strain?” She was now looking right at me. The actress in her was trying desperately to get a reaction out of me.

“Usually before I have a full on make out session with the window, I rub some BenGay on my neck so that there is no discomfort after. I hope one day I can ride the normal bus... Helmet free…” I said and tried to hold in my laugh.