I don't talk to Racoons.

37 8 12
                                    

Chloe | He | His best friend

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I look at my phone screen with horror. The stranger is calling me?! Okay, not my fault I'm very awkward on phone calls and I HATE talking on call, texting is so much better.

I debate internally whether I should answer the phone or not. I decide to pick the phone up and tell the stranger to leave me alone and end all of this at once.

I suck in a deep breath and answer the phone.

"You took way to long to answ-"

"You do realize that you are talking to a number which is wrong, don't you?"

"You do realize that you just used passive voice, don't you?"

"What?"

"Passive voice, don't you know 5th Grade basic English grammar?"

"Ugh where did that come from?"

"You are stupider than I assumed."

"Stupider? That's not even a word."

"Aint I creative? cue eyebrow wiggle because you cannot see me wiggling it"

"Cue me thanking the Lord almighty that I am saved from seeing your face. Which I assume, is crap."

"You've got illusions, big ones."

"Why are we even having this conversation?"

"Well technically I am at my wasted friends house who is sleeping his ass off and I have nothing to watch on the Tele and I was wondering if my other friend would come over to keep my company but it seems that you hijacked his number, so yeah."

"I didn't hijack anyone's number you asshat, you dialed it wrong."

"Okay maybe.. I did dial it wrong, because while texting you I received a text from his real number."

"Okay so this number IS wrong, right?"

"Pretty much yeah."

"So bye."

"No wait"

"What?"

"I am bored."

"So?"

"Cant we just keep talking? I have nothing better to do anyways"

"I don't talk to strangers"

"Yeah right, sure."

"Okay fine I AM taking to you since the last 5 minutes but that's.. that's so that we don't talk ever again"

"..."

"What I am implying is-"

"Gimme a minute."

"No, I haven't finis-"

'What the hell Ben?! Just fucking go and lie your ass down on that pure bliss-y water bed of yours!'

'AAAAAAH, WHY IS THERE A RACOON IN MY HOUSE?!' Someone screams behind and I have to pull my phone away from my ear

"..."

'FOR FUCK'S SAKE I AINT NO RACOON, GO BACK TO SLEEP.'

"THE FRUCK?"

"WHAT?"

"YOU USED DOUBLE NEGATIVE WHY ON EA-"

"SERIOUSLY? YOU ARE SCREAMING AT ME FO-"

'HOW IS A RA- RACOON TALKING ON T-THE PHONE?'

"Hello?"

'GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU DUMBFUCK'

"HELLLOOOOO?!"

"Uh?"

"WOAH-WOAH A RACOON TALKING TO A HU-HUMAN"
The person on the other end giggles.

"WHA- YOU SCREWBALL JUST FUCKING SLEEP AND GIMME MY PRECIOUS PROPERTY BACK."

"Okay pretty gur-girl I am gonna han..hang uppp! Or else the-the racoon willlll kick me outttt"

'Yeah right, I will kick you out of your own fucking house. '

"Umm, bye?"

'GIVE IT BACKKKK!'

"..."

'SEND SOME VODKAAA BEF-FORE GETTIN LAIDDDD RA-RACOON, GEDDITTT?!'

**MUMBLES**

"Damn I am sorry he just"

I can't help but chuckle at his childish nervousness, "he was drunk."

"Yeah, I mean I could have-"

I cut him off , "It's alright. Save your sorry's for later."

"Wait, Does that mean you are not going to stop talking to me?"

"Uh no, I don't talk to Racoons. Bye."

"You mean an adorable human?"

"...."

"Did she hang up on me?"


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A/n : To everyone reading this, I added the fonts in which the characters are saying their lines at the beginning of each chapter just so there is no confusion.

But there still might be some confusion here and there, I'll try to minimise it as much as possible.

And if you're still reading this, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I love you, literally.

I mean I can't be grateful enough, not many people read my books so..

Anyway, until next time!

The Wrong Number changed My Life.Unde poveștirile trăiesc. Descoperă acum