heroin → joanlock

01| DISTRACTIONS

A|N
SPECIAL THANKS TO SARAH, HappyBubbles203 for being a shit head and pointing out my stupid mistakes. ;) love you.
ok. so. in this take of elementary the whole season three finale where oscar comes up and sherlock beats the shit out of him, yeah, that doesn't happen. oscar comes back and the storyline is as is, but sherlock never beats him up. so, he never faces the charges and he's continuing with the NYPD. k. enjoy.
**

When Sherlock Holmes makes a decision, he stands by that decision.

When Sherlock Holmes is determined to accomplish something, he accomplishes it.

So when Sherlock, after two years of sobriety, relapses, than it is the greatest mystery of them all.

He's not one to go back on his word, he's not one to give in so easy. No matter how many times you warn him about "triggers" he'll simply say, that he isn't any closer to relapsing then he was the day before.

But sometimes, it isn't triggers that make you relapse, no.

It's being pushed over the edge. It's being told over and over again that you are a burden, that people are endangered because of you, that everyone you care about is better off without you. Sure, your skill is something extraordinary, yes, it's a gift. But you are not.

You relapse, because of the same thing that made you use in the first place.

Your own damn mind.

We let our minds play cruel tricks on us, we let them get the better of us, and we suddenly believe that 'it's all my fault'. Sherlock let his mind get to him, so much, that even if he didn't realize, he was eating himself alive. That he knew, he knew very well that he could just as well be bound to self destruct. That thought, was always with Sherlock, but he always tried to make sure that when he self destructs, the people around him don't blow up.

So, what do you do? When you've tried so desperately hard to keep those around you safe but it isn't working? People are endangered and you can't help but think they hate you a little for it. They think that you're unaware of the harm your causing, that you just simply don't care. But little do they know, that you care so much, that it eats you alive.

It drives you to relapse.

It drives you to self destruct.

Sherlock Holmes cared, he cared too much, that in the end, he blew up.

That is until, he realized he has something, someone, that he needed to keep going for. He needed to get it together, he needed to pick up the pieces and glue them back together so he can keep going, for her.

Joan Watson.

**

NEW YORK CITY, was a beautiful place, especially at night. Since his relapse, Sherlock found himself drawn to the roof. He'd come up here to think the thousands of thoughts racing through his brain, and sometimes he'd go to the roof to try and get rid of some of those thoughts. Nonetheless, he'd hold himself hostage on that roof for hours, even a day or two. He was content up there, he was at peace, maybe not with himself, but with the world.

But, eventually, he found his way out of the roof and back, back into reality. Back into the hustle of his everyday life, the life which caused one of his dear friends, Alfredo, to suffer, something that never would have happened if Sherlock wasn't in Alfredo's life.