Under the Gray Willow Tree

Chapter 18

I nodded, still remembering not to lose grip of the window pane, or not to lose my footing on the window ledge either.

I bent my knees, and prepared to jump. And then, I jumped, onto the balcony, trying to land as quietly as possible, which proved to be pretty futile. Gray came down after me, but he managed to be a lot quieter than me.

"Next time, try to be a lot quieter, okay?" he teased.

I just chuckled, but didn't say a word.

Hopefully, no one heard us. We climbed out onto the nearest ledge, and continued our climb.

Which was very, very scary.

The ledge wasn't exactly large, and I could barely plant my foot firmly to it. I had to walk on my tiptoes. And there wasn't a solid place where my hand could grip. I had to grip the window pane itself, which was quite slippery, note that!

I climbed forward, going slower than before. And then, all of a sudden, my left foot slipped, and all I cold place it on was air. I let out a soft, silent and startled cry. I almost fell backwards. I started panting.

"Are you okay?" Gray asked, concerned.

I shook my head to snap myself out of the fear that had befallen against me when I almost fell. "Yeah, I'm okay. Now anyway," I croaked, breathing a sigh of relief when my left foot found its footing once more.

I am definitely not suited to do outdoor activities.

And my losing my footing there just now just proves so.

Besides the office balcony we jumped onto just now – which we didn't check if there were any people occupying it – the next two offices we passed were occupied. I am just relieved that they didn't see us. If they did, there would be trouble.

I feel so scared that I might actually fall the next time I lose my grip. Some of the ledges were slippery. It's just my luck that a very limited number of them were. If there were any more, I would have definitely slipped and fallen by now.

Willow, stop thinking about falling. The more you think about it, the more likely you are to fall. Just stop thinking about it, and calm down. Calm down. You're just walking on a narrow strip of cement, that's all! Nothing to worry about.

Except that this is not 'nothing to worry about'.

Just stop worrying Willow. The more you do, the more scared you get, and the less attention you give for climbing from one ledge to the other.

But I'm not Spiderman!

Goodness! I'm arguing with myself! Is that the first sign of going crazy?

I pushed the internal conflict out of my thoughts, and concentrated on my surroundings. I climbed onto the next ledge; my right hand almost lost its grip. I went to the other side of the ledge – prepared to go onto the next – while Gray checked the inside to see if there was anyone in it.

"It's empty," he announced.

Yes!

Gray kicked the window open and got in. He held out a hand for me to hold, and I took it, and he pulled me in easily. Which saved me the trouble of worrying if I was going to fall when I climbed in. It saved me a lot of trouble.

He placed his hands gently on my shoulder. "Let's go," he whispered into my ear, making a shiver run up my spine.

I nodded in acknowledgement. He grabbed my hand and yanked me forward. I let him guide me through the empty corridors – thank goodness it's empty – and towards the stairs. He hastily pushed open the door that led to the stairs. The two of us paced down the flights of stairs as quickly as our legs could take us.

At the very bottom of the stairs, Gray forcefully pushed open the emergency exit door. He held it open for me to exit, then it swung shut, slowly, behind him. I think Gray didn't want to risk walking through that huge lobby in case there were any orders to hunt us down or something.

I'm sorry, but I don't know how an organisation works.

We quickly made our way through the back alley and onto the main streets of New York. Relief washed through me like a flood. We didn't get caught. And I also don't think anyone saw us. There was a very little chance of it.

It was a really frightening experience though... I mean, what with all the risks we were taking by going through that office. And the climb on the outside of the building. That must be the scariest thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life!

So, now I think I know Gray was so upset when I suggested this idea earlier.

It was stupid.

It wasn't smart, not at all! Not in the slightest bit! He knew all the risks we would have to take, and how much it would take to succeed in this so-called 'mission'. He knew that we would have a very high chance of failure.

But he did it anyway.

For me, I think.

I'm not so sure. But I could see how hard I was on him. Keep on pressing him to do this. All this nonsense. All this... It's so unbeneficial. So, to sum it all up, I basically just dragged us all out here for no reason at all.

I could feel the cold air nip against the exposed skin of my face.

"What should we do now?" Gray asked, making sure that we were out of earshot of anyone in – or near the outside – of the building, breaking the silence between us, and also asking the question that was on the tip of my tongue, but I never said it.

"I think..." I started. But trailed off.

What do I think we should do? Should we continue to linger around here? Or what? Maybe we should just... Oh, I don't know.

"You think?" he asked, prompting me to finish my line.

I sighed loudly. "I think we should just head home," I replied, trying to make it sound like the most obvious thing in the world, but obviously failing at that.

He chuckled and patted my head. "Alright then. To home we go!"

I feel bad taking up his time. He took all the trouble to come all the way here just so I could get what I want, and now, he has to drive us all the way back home. I'm nothing but trouble, aren't I? Even though I try my hardest all the time not to be a burden to everyone around me.

I should really stop being so naïve and start to think like a sensible person, and also not ask for silly and stupid requests as I always do. I must really annoy people sometimes, and this is looking from my point of view if someone this annoying is one of my best friends.

Not that I have any anyway.

We headed back to where Gray's car was parked. He unlocked the door and I opened the passenger's side for me to get in. And once I got in, I just sat there as patiently as I could, not wanting to disturb Gray as I have already caused him so much trouble.

I think – no, I'm very sure – he only sees me as a burden to him.

But I hope I'm not right.

I can't wait to get home, honestly speaking. I can't wait to get home to do something that I definitely cannot do now. Well, not in this car anyway. Gray would see it. And I don't think I want him to.

I can't wait to get home to open the folder that's currently in my bag, crushed under some of my things. I can't wait to go back home and read whatever's in there. I wonder if it's about my past. I wonder if this folder contains parts of my past that even I don't know about myself.

I hope it is.

I hope whatever it is inside this folder can fill the blank spaces and gaps of my past. I hope... I hope it can do that, so that my past will be complete, and maybe... Just maybe... I will be able to move on with my life, and not mourn on about the past.

Well, I'm off to update another story now! Stay tuned for the rest of this one! :D