Akeldama | lrh

sixteen - fire and ice

Clip my wings
Take everything
Don't know what's right
Fire and ice
Keep your blue eyes away from me
I'm mesmerized
Fire
And ice

-Olivia Bray

•••

I play idly with my fingers as the sounds of Luke's shower running fill the room. They're calloused, my nails oval but cracked in several places. The green nail polish I had two weeks ago is gone. All that remains is little specks of it on the edges of my cuticles.

What am I doing here?

I'm sitting on Luke's bed, one of the oversized men's undershirts on from the wardrobe and my own pants. He told me to wait while he "cleared his head," which I assume means he's thinking of ways to tell me to get the hell out.

I can't believe myself. I came in here to talk to him, only to end up screwing him on the floor four feet from his bed. My skin is still tingling from the feeling of him, his lips, his hands. The taste of him on my tongue.

I want to regret it. I really do. But I don't.

The shower cuts off. I hold my breath, preparing myself for the inevitable rejection. Luke steps out of the bathroom, dripping wet in his underwear, the shine of the water further highlighting the several hickeys on his neck. I feel the heat creeping up on my cheeks despite my own shame.

He stays silent, toweling off his hair before walking to the other side of the room to pick up his pants, slipping them on. I start to think about just getting up and leaving, but that plan dies as he begins to pace slowly around the room.

Luke stops a couple of feet in front of the bed, then sighs, staring down at his hands, which are clasped loosely in front of him. At first I don't think he's going to speak, but then he says the very last thing I expect him to.

"You know." He says, and gives a little breathless laugh. It's not totally genuine, but it isn't fake either. "I've never actually done that before."

My awkward apology, which was waiting on my tongue to be said, dissolves like a pill into nothing. I find myself gaping at him, this ridiculously beautiful boy with the attitude of a tiger that surely gets laid whenever he's even within one hundred feet of a girl. Right?

"You're kidding." I manage to choke out, and now it's my turn to laugh breathlessly. "Right?"

"Nope." Luke shakes his head. "Despite my stunning good looks, I've never hooked up with girls on missions like the others. Not my style." He looks towards the ceiling, thoughtful. "I mean, I prefer to at least take a girl out for dinner first."

I can't help but force down a laugh. Luke Hemmings. Warrior, leader, sizzlingly hot, and a virgin. Well, not anymore.

"Don't laugh at me." He mock frowns, and it becomes even harder to restrain myself. He's looking at me with those stupid luminous blue eyes and I'm forgetting how to speak.

I can't get you out of my fucking head, Alexandra. Every time I look at you it's like I'm looking into the fucking sun, and everything else just flys out of the picture.

"I'm sorry. It's just.. don't seem like the virgin type." Heat rises in my cheeks again, and then remember the reason that we ended up in this situation in the first place.