Becoming A True Alpha (Teen Wolf)

Chapter 5: Voluntary Apnea

Chapter 5:

  Everyone has a fear. One they may encounter daily or never have to face in their lifetime. A fear can consume you or it can define you.

The fear of drowning is one I'm no stranger to, but the feeling of my lungs collapsing in on themselves feels like an unpleasant memory.

The metal tank's walls continue to rise, forming a barrier around my body. I keep my mouth clamped shut, refusing to let the icy water in, but I know my body's craving for oxygen will soon overpower my own willpower. It's called Voluntary Apnea. No matter how badly I want to give in and stop myself from panicking, the need to not let any water in is so strong that I won't open my mouth until it feels like my head will explode. And when I do, peace will come.

Darkness curls around the edge of my vision and I know it is only a matter of time before I let the water in and blackout. But, I can't go. I can't let this be the last time I see them- my old pack. If I die, I can't let this be the last memory they have of me. In death there is no wolf to fight for my thoughts and feelings. There is only me and the humanity I hadn't felt in months.

The aching in my head quickly escalates to an excruciating pounding, as if someone had repeatedly slammed a sledge hammer into my skull. I had given up on fighting against the strength of the men's hold, but with my body shutting down I don't have much of a choice. My limbs still shake, surrounded by the chilling temperature. The movements had become a normal response by now. An unbearable weight presses down on my chest, crushing my rib cage and collapsing on my lungs.

The teeth chatter beneath my quivering lips and I can feel my canines sink into my lower lip. It is hard to tell if my eyes are burning from the water they desperately try to blink away or they had lit up like a green orb of light.

I try to occupy my mind, but like the water I am drowning in, my thoughts had sunk too far into its murky depths. The cold, the pain washes away any memories I had clasped onto.

Why endure this pain and stall the enviable? I need to let the water in. I need to open my mouth.

I take a deep breath, gulping in air that isn't there. Water fills my mouth and slips down my throat. But the feeling off my lungs filling with the icy liquid isn't horrifying, it's relieving.

My head no longer feels like it is going to split in half. The water's freezing temperature is refreshing against my clammy skin and the shivering stops, allowing me to float peacefully in the silent void.

I close my eyes, inviting the darkness to take me away.

The sound of rustling leafs brings me back to reality. I peel open my eyes and stare at the scenery of the Reserve. Confusion floods my thoughts. I don't remember waking up, but maybe I hadn't.

I reach out, letting my fingers brush across the leaf of a nearby Oak tree. The rough surface is unusually smooth and the green tint is too bright. Looking around the forest, I realize all the shrubbery is an unnatural shade of vibrant colours. This isn't right.

I can still feel the chill of the tub's water, as if the very temperature had settled into my bones. I breath in and out, relieved to find my lungs accepting the oxygen. I can hear familiar voices in the distance, but with a thick fog clouding my thoughts, their words mean nothing.

My drowning mind had brought me here- to a dream or my own version of hell. While my body lays limp in a metal tank back at the Animal Clinic.

As the voices grow louder I realize what I had mistaken for several people is only one person, Deaton. "Lucy, can you hear me?" his tone is assertive, but faint over the roar of my own subconscious.