Everlasting

Chapter 30

Peeta P.O.V.

I look across the table to see Katniss picking at her food. I take a deep breath and turn my attention to Willow. She's staring down at her empty plate, waiting to be excused from the table.

"Willow," I say. Katniss looks up at me with wide eyes, like she's afraid I'm going to say something. "Why don't you go check on your brother in the living room?"

Willow nods and gets down out of her chair. Once she's out of the room, I look back over across the table at Katniss.

"You've got to relax," I say. "I'm not going to tell her anything without talking it over with you first. We still have a lot to discuss before we tell her." Katniss nods her head.

"I'm sorry," she says. "Peeta. We have to stop doing this to ourselves." I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Doing what?"

"We've both been having nightmares every night for the past week," Katniss says. "Neither of us have slept good. We haven't had much of an appetite. I know we're both constantly worried about what her reaction will be. It's like we're on edge all the time. If we're going to tell her, then we need to get it over with. But if we don't think that she's ready to hear it, the we need to decide to wait."

"Okay," I say. "If you want to wait until she's a little older, then we can wait."

Katniss nods and looks down at the ground. "I'm just afraid that if we tell her now, that she'll grow up hating me."

"Why would she hate you?"

"Peeta, I did some horrible things. How am I supposed to tell her about it?"

"You didn't do any worse than anybody else, Katniss," I tell her. "If it weren't for you, we'd still have to worry about the Games."

"Peeta…"

"Don't you think that I'm worried about it too?"I ask her. "How am I supposed to tell her that I tried to kill you?" Katniss looks away from me.

"Hey," I say softly. "Look at me." Katniss slowly meets my gaze. "I'm not trying to argue with you. I'm just letting you know that you're not alone. We both have to tell Willow stuff that we're not proud of. And, eventually, Rye will have to know too."

Katniss nods and wipes the tears on her cheeks with the palm of her hands. I get out of my chair and walk over to Katniss, bending down beside of her.

"Why don't we go into the living room with the kids. Okay?"

"Let me get the kitchen cleaned up first," Katniss says.

"I'll worry about it later," I tell her. "Come on." I take Katniss's hands in mine, pulling her up to her feet. She rests her head on my chest, and I wrap my arms around her.

"Can we at least wait and tell her a few days before she goes back to school?" Katniss asks.

"Yeah," I say as I nod my head. "That'll give us enough time to think about it." Katniss nods her head, and I place a hand on her back. "Come on," I say. "Let's go."

Katniss and I walk into the living room to see Willow sitting on the couch in front of the bassinet. Willow looks up at us and puts a finger over her lips.

"Shh." Willow tells us quietly. "Him is sleeping." Katniss and I laugh and shake our head. That kid.

Katniss and I sit down on the couch side by side. Willow looks over at us before crawling my over onto my lap.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, princess?"

"I wanna hold Rye when him wakes up."