Change Me [Jastin]

Chapter 21

1 month..

I haven't talked to Jason or seen him ever since what happened.. My mom and Tyler would sometimes ask 'What happened to Jason?' The only thing I could say was 'we're on break' and when they'd ask why, I wouldn't answer..

Ari and I have been hanging out more, I've also been hanging out with Milton. Milton finally made enough money to move back to Gold Town, he doesn't live very far.

The only time I ever go out is in the weekends.. Everyday I lie on the floor or on my bed in my room in the dark listening music.
Crying, missing Jason wishing he was with me even though he hurt me.. It's been 1 month.. I miss him so much..

I think that Jason might be the love of my life.. Yet he hurt me..

Ari told me that Jason had been hooking up with girls lately but I acted like I didn't care.. But in the inside it was killing me.. I lied on the floor listening to 'Holy Grail by Jay-Z ft. Justin Timberlake' as I let out a sigh, the song reminded me so much of Jason.

I cried into my pillow like I do every night, grabbing a pin from under my bed then pulled up my sleeve to reveal scars, I held the pin against my wrist then slit it, causing more cuts... Then made more.. And more, just one more.

I know what you're thinking, I'm stupid for cutting myself over a guy, but you don't get it, I loved him, I gave him everything, he beat me down hard and broke my heart, without another word.

I turned on my lamp then stood in front of the mirror and looked at the bags under my eyes, I was cold and pail and I'm pretty sure I had lost some weight too.

I never come out of my room. I've been completely rude to my mom and her boyfriend lately and I feel bad but I can't help it..

How can one person change your life so much?

I wiped my tears away then sat on my bed and looked down at the ground.

I want my baby back.. I don't care how much he's hurt me.. I want him..

I grabbed my phone then scrolled through Mine and Jason's text messages. Should I text him? Tell him how I feel? I can't do it over text.. That's stupid..

But I'm too scared to tell him how I feel in person plus I might not even ever get to see him again..

The same thoughts repeated over and over in my head...

I heard a knock on my door. "Go away!" I cried into my pillow. "It's us.. Ari.. Milton.. and Briana" "FUCK OFF" I shouted then sniffled. "You do know your mom gave us a spare key, right?"

Damn, my mother..

I heard them unlock the door and whined, "Why is it so dark in here?" Ari asked then turned the light on seeing me in bed with my iPod playing music.

I didn't bother looking up at them. I looked horrible. Nobody wants me..

"Justin, are you okay? We've been worried sick about you" Briana said "I got chips.. I know you love chips Justin" Milton said as he shook the bag, He's right.. I'd give up anything over a bag of chips because that's how much of a damn fatass I am.

"Leave Me a-alone" I cried, Feeling the bed sink as Milton and Ari sat besides me.

Ari grabbed my wrist making me face him, "Holy shit!" Milton said then covered his mouth "Milton!" Briana said "I-I'm sorry" he said then got up and backed away.

"It's okay" I whispered then looked down, "We got the movie Finding Nemo" Milton said holding up the movie, Ari rolled his eyes then hugged me tightly.

I cried into his shoulder, as I felt Milton and Briana hug me also, "Look Jason's a dumbass for hurting you Justin, You'll find someone better" Ari said then I looked up at Milton "I guess" I said with a sigh.

"Look we're going to stay with you and watch finding Nemo" Milton said then patted my back making my stomach twist.

Remember when I said I had a small crush on Milton? I still do.. But it's nothing big really.. It's just a small crush but that doesn't mean I don't love Jason.

Ari looked at me then looked at Milton. "Come on let's get the snacks" Ari said as he got up and grabbed Milton's arm.

>>Ari<<

I went outside as Milton opened the trunk, "Dude! Justin likes you" I said "Still? Wait how do you know?" Milton asked "just by the way he looks at you.. Ask him out on a date" I said "what? No! It's so obvious he's not over Jason" "exactly he's not over Jason so go on a date with him so he can get over Jason" I said "but using Justin like that? No way" "come on man!" I said "I can't!" "I'll pay you" I said as I rolled my eyes.

"Well... Okay" Milton said making me smirk.

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