Devoid [Bruno Mars]

Chapter twenty-three

My vision flashed with a blinding white. It was not until then did I realize that Bruno wasn't going to open the door, no matter how much I screamed. 

He was done.

Bruno, the only person who gave a shit about me.

I cursed under my breath and folded my arms across my chest and went out into the rain, my head bent low as I fumbled for my car keys in my purse and slid in the shelter of my car. The rain pounded on the roof, so loud, so loud. I couldn't think. I put my head on the steering wheel, shut my eyes. I wrapped my arms around myself, to keep from falling apart.

I didn't know how long I stayed that way, breathing shallowly from my chest being so tight. The rain had turned into hammering, pinging off the metal of the car, covering the windows in a layer of blur. I needed to get it together. Bruno wasn't aware of the truth yet what he said to me still held true. It never occurred to me that at times there was a distant pain to his gaze, and Grim had put it there. I was too blinded by my own grief to see his, and to comfort him, like he tried to comfort me.

Which I never allowed him to. I closed him off with lies and distrust and doubts. What the hell was wrong with me?

I owned a car charger and plugged my phone in. I had over twenty miss calls from Bruno, two from an unknown number, and countless of voice mails and text messages. I scrolled through the messages: 

Adrian baby where are you? Everyones looking for you.. urbana didnt see you in the bathroom are you still in there?

Im sorry for coming unto you like that sweetheart. jus come back soon, alright? everyones waiting.. Im waiting.. And Im worried. Phil wont stop bothering me help

Call me you need to call me

And it continued like that. The unknown number texted me too: Hey adrian this is phil if you dont want to talk to bruno talk to me?

I clicked on my messages from Bruno again with quick fingers and scrolled all the way to the top, to five days ago. 

Bruno, I have been lying to you all this time. I have been seeing someone else since we got together. I found him here in the club and left with him. I'm sorry but I can't do this with you anymore.

I supposedly sent this on the night of club Midnight and it screamed Joseph. This is what he was talking about, when he said no one would be looking for me. He made Bruno think I left him, which was easily believed I was sure because of our argument before club Midnight. How Joseph got into the lock on my phone I would probably never know. 

I listened to the voice mails. Bruno's raspy voice entered my ears. “Adrian.” There was a long pause, as if just saying my name was hard. “Adrian, don't do this through text. I need you to tell me we're done to my face. I need to see you. I'm sorry for coming unto you like that. I'm so goddamned sorry just—call me, all right?” I deleted it and listened to the next one. “I know you weren't happy with me, and you're probably happier with. . . with him. . . but you can't leave me like this, Adrian. You can't just disappear and act as if what we had was nothing. You had to feel something you—” “Your car is still in the driveway. And I still have your bag of clothes that you keep here. At least come get them. Get them out of my damn sight.” “After all we've been through I can't believe you would do this—this shit to me.” He took a ragged breath. “I'll stop calling.”

I threw my phone down and hit the steering wheel, a rage of screams hissing through my teeth. The anger flared deep within my bones—directed at Joseph and partly, myself.

I snatched my keys, about to drive away to figure things out with Bruno after I had a full stomach and a shower, but then I brought the keys up to my eyes. There was a silver one standing out in the midst of the rusty gold ones, it was also smaller than my silver car key, reflecting in the darkness as if it were trying to tell me something. I dashed out into the rain, ignoring the hot pain in my foot. It took five tries to get the key in the door but eventually it slid inside. The bolt unlocked with a satisfying, heart-wrenching click.