Everything You Are - Brendon Urie *completed* (part 2/3)

fifty-five: so often do i need people in between

After a few days I was released from the hospital, but was instructed to stay off any electronic device for about 2 weeks, keep my right arm in a sling, and had to have perfect posture constantly due to my cracked ribs for them to heal properly. With my right arm unavailable, I was unable to drive, which I was also instructed not to do for a couple weeks due to my concussion, and was basically limited to sleeping or taking a shower. So I spent a lot of afternoons the first couple weeks after the accident laying in my room listening to music with Brendon, who thankfully was willing to keep me company during all of my recovery, being extra careful with me when he hugged me, kissed me, or was touching me in any way at all. I found it sweet, though it was frustrating not having any comfortable way to cuddle because of my ribs. 

When I was released, my mother was able to see me briefly, and she was in tears when she saw me, apologizing over and over again for not listening and informing me that she was really going to get help because she knows she has a problem and she needs to stop. That's exactly what happened; she went to a rehab facility right after we were both released from the hospital, only going home briefly for a few days before she left for a couple months to make some progress with her addiction. 

The house was eerily empty without my mother there, and my father decided to stay home more often now that she wasn't there, probably realizing his own guilt was beginning to build up. I began to wonder if he'd truly fallen out of love with my mother, and in love with some other woman that he'd been messing around with for who knows how long. Who knew if their marriage was finally going to fall apart. All I knew was that I was done fucking around with anything anymore. I knew people at school for the last few weeks were talking about my family and all that had happened but I didn't care. I wasn't focused on it. 

One day I was sitting after school a couple weeks after I'd been released and was able to go back, only dealing with minor headaches at that point, I was in my room working on my homework with Brendon, sitting quietly with him as he worked through a math problem effortlessly and I struggled slightly. The usual. 

"Hey Charlie," he said suddenly, looking up from his work and turning to me. 

I lifted my head from where I was staring down at a problem and looked up at him. "What?" 

"The first day that you woke up, you said you'd realized a lot of things that you'd tell me about later when we got home," he said. "What were those things that you realized?" 

My brain was still swimming with numbers as I tried to transition to his question, taking a moment to process it as he stared at me expectantly. "Oh. It was just some dreams that I had."

"What were they about?" he asked somewhat eagerly, sitting closer to me on my bed, pushing our work aside. 

I sighed as I dropped my pencil, leaning back carefully as my ribs were still sore. "Well, I met my subconscious." 

"You met your subconscious?" he asked, his eyebrows wrinkling in confusion. 

I nodded. "Yeah, I met her. Her name is Sarah, and she answered all these questions I had. She was kinda like a guardian angel, she always speaks to me when things are wrong. You know, like in your head." 

"What are you talking about, Charlie?" he asked. 

"You know when you get that voice in your head that answers your own voice in your head?" I said. "Mine's name is Sarah. I met her when I was in a coma, she was really sweet and she gave me a new perspective on a lot of things." 

Brendon continued to stare at me worriedly, looking at my eyes more closely. "Are you feeling okay, Charlie?" 

"I'm fine," I snapped, turning away.