Road Trip (H.S.)

Chapter 19

Harry

In the morning, my eyes open up as a sliver of sunshine peeks through the curtains. The entire room is dark except for the one ray of light shining down on my face. The room is cold and everything around me is silent. It almost feels as if I've woken up in a different world at a different point in time. For some weird reason, I have this feeling of emptiness in my chest.

My body is exhausted, after having run on the treadmill last night for an hour I'm surprised my legs aren't numb. I needed to workout to clear my head of everything that happened yesterday, including that strange yet fascinating connection I shared with Felicity. Once her boyfriend called, I knew I had to try my best to forget that happened, which was how I ended up in the gym. I ran and ran, slowly increasing the speed on the treadmill until my legs nearly gave out. I needed something else to occupy my mind because if I continued to think about that connection, I would drive myself crazy.

I can't forget about it. No matter how hard I try to think about something else, my mind continues to go back to that moment and what could have been. I kick myself for having wasted time admiring her beauty, yet I'm happy I was interrupted by the phone. I hate that I didn't get the chance to kiss her, but I'm almost thankful that it didn't happen. I keep playing scenarios over and over in my head of what might have occurred after a kiss. Would she slap me for kissing her when I know she has a boyfriend? Would she have walked out of the room? Would she refuse to speak to me for the rest of the trip? Would she have possibly kissed me back?

I'm going insane thinking about everything.

It's then that I remember the outcome of Felicity's phone call with her boyfriend. She has a flight booked for this morning. I wish with all of my might that she decides to stay, but there's nothing I can do to stop her if she wants to leave. It's her choice.

As I roll over in the small bed, my heart drops as I see the other side is empty. I immediately sit up, hoping that my sleepy vision is fooling me. Unfortunately, I didn't see wrong. The other side of the bed is empty, and as I place my hand on the mattress, I realize it's been empty for a while as it's cold.

My eyes travel towards the bathroom, seeing the light turned off and not hearing a sound. Felicity's duffle bag that was once on the armchair in the corner of the room has disappeared, and as I scan the rest of the room, my heart stops as I come to a realization.

She left.

Felicity made the decision to take the flight this morning to go to California. She didn't wake me up before she left, nor did she ask for a ride. The last interaction we had was the conversation before I left for the gym. She was asleep by the time I came back.

Fuck. She didn't even say goodbye.

I feel this sinking and burning sensation within my chest, almost too painful to deal with. My throat feels like it's closing up, but I know it's only because I'm trying to suppress my emotions from coming forth.

I'm angry and upset, mainly because Felicity didn't feel the need to say anything to me before she left. I can't be angry with her for choosing to leave. I told her to do what she thinks is best for herself and that's exactly what she did. I can't, and I'm not going to, be upset with her about it. I just feel ... heartbroken, maybe.

It's completely possible that after the events from yesterday, before her boyfriend called, Felicity didn't want to deal with whatever it was we shared. I would understand. She's in a relationship and it probably scared her to have a connection that strong with someone else.

But what the hell am I supposed to do without her now? The only reason I'm here in St. Louis is because we both decided this would be a fun place to visit. I could still spend the day visiting the Arch and all the other places we probably would have gone to together, but the thought of that sounds like it would be so painfully lonesome. I don't think I want to do that.