He kissed up my neck, while I blew smoke from my nose.
"Quit it Tremaine," I push him away gently, handing him the blunt. He took it, but continued to touch on me. "Boy, keep ya hands to yaself,"
"You bullshittin', Linda. You know I'm feeling you," He takes a puff, which causes him to cough harshly. After getting himself together, he goes on, "What you come over here fa if we won't fuckin'?"
"You cute or whateva, Trey, but we just kickin' it, and you know that," He rolls his eyes, ashing the blunt.
"Nah fuck that," He laughs, then tugs the belt loops of my jeans. I slap his hands away, and go towards the door. "You come in my shit wit them tight ass jeans, titties all out. You must wanted to fuck, and now you playing," he laughs, but his eyes grazed my figure in a predatory manner.
"Nah, Trey, You buggin'," He corners me between the door and his tall frame. His hands sit at my waist and he goes to kiss me. I turn and give him my cheek which pisses him off and his grip on my waist tightens. "Let me go nigga," I whisper angrily at him.
"You know what you came fa baby girl," he laughs again, and I take advantage of him closing his eyes, and push him away from me. He stumbles back, and he then realizes the mistake he's made as tears fall, and I open his front door. "I am so sorry Malinda," He says from a few feet away, but I don't turn around to hear the rest of his sorry ass apology.
I didn't realize I was crying until Imani wipes my face for me. Mani, Necia and I were on the sofa in the back.
"Shh, mama," Necia coaches as the sobs wreck my small frame and I can't seem to stop crying. Mani pulls me closer into her chest, and Necia rubs my back. After a few minutes, I get myself together and hug both of my best friends back.
"Thank you guys," I kiss their cheeks, then step outside to smoke. A nasty habit I've picked up over the years but the nicotine calms the trembling of my hands. I was outside for about 10 minutes before deciding to go back. I was met with my two best friends, my brother and my boyfriend, the four of them sporting looks of mixed emotions, but one thing was common, was their concern. Necia was the first to speak.
"I called Kaz because we were worried about you," She looks off to the side, and this feels an awful lot like a fucking intervention.
"I'm fine guys, just been a lil stressed about this next semester. Nothing to worry about," I wave them off, and go to leave the room, but Kaz grabs my hand, making me look at him.
"Nari told me about the nightmares," Kaz says quietly and I look over at Shonari rolling my eyes.
"It wasn't his place to fucking tell you," I pull my hand from his roughly, pushing between him and Nari, purposely nudging Shonari. I wave at the girls up front, making my way to my car.
It was nothing but the grace of God that got me home because I was too into my thoughts to realize where I was until Shonari was knocking at the window of my car, scaring the shit out of me. I lower the window a few inches, but make no moves to get out.
"You gone come in the house?" His gruff voice asks me, his eyebrows furrow as he tries to read my face. I maintain a look of indifference as he continues to look for a weakness in my defenses.
"Is there an intervention in there too?" I ask harshly, not missing the eye roll along with the low sigh he releases.
"It wasn't like that, Linda. Please. Come in the house so we can talk," he all but begs.
I roll the window up, but sit for a few more moments to compose myself. I don't know why, but I feel weak. Like I can't keep my emotions contained. With a deep breath, I exit my car, and follow Shonari into my apartment. Once the door is closed, he wraps me into a tight hug, and my composure seemed to have been left on the other side of my apartment door, as the tears begin to fall all over again.
"We're just worried about you baby girl," is all he says as he leads us to the couch. He lets me cry for what seems like an eternity. "You gone speak now?" He pulls my face to look at him once the tears stop. I didn't want to tell him. I didn't want to tell anyone. I don't need their pity.
"Trey's mother was in the shop, speaking on something she knew nothing about," I say after an extended silence, my voice raspy, but the anger evident, just the same. He doesn't say anything, but slightly nods, motioning for me to continue.
"Trey came on to me, on more than one occasion. And every time I told him I didn't see him like that, but that just pissed him off more," his grip around me tightens defensively and I'm not sure he wants to hear the rest. "Maybe it was my fault. I kept going back to him after he disrespected me. Lead him on even," my mind goes to the last time I kicked it with Trey, about a year or so ago. It didn't end well.
"Last time we kicked it, he told me something. Something I always knew, but never confirmed," a ragged breath leaves me, and I tear up again.
"Linda, you cheating," Trey laughs, pushing my hand off his controller. He was kicking my ass in Gran Turismo, and I was a sore loser.
"Dammit Tremaine!" I exclaim as he wins. He leans over and kisses my cheek.
"Cheaters never win Malinda!" He gloats, turning off the game, and starting to roll up. "You really not feeling the kid like that Malinda?" He asks so quietly, I almost didn't hear him.
"I mean I got love fa you Trey. Wouldn't wish no foul shit on you... But nah," I look down at my hands. "I'm sorry, Trey," I hear him huff, then he starts throwing things, the controller, the weed, anything he could get his hands on. He then grabs me up by my arms.
"All this time, you was all I wanted and you stuck on Smoke ol' criminal ass, fa what?!" he screams at me.
"I don't know! Let me go!" I yell back at him, but he seems unphased.
"Get out... I been got what I wanted anyways," he pushes me away from him, going to his room and leaving to let myself out.
"I was halfway home before I realized what he meant. It was him. I always knew Trey was bangin', that's how he knew you, and that's why he was familiar to me. I was just going back to what I knew," I finish. Shonari unwraps his arms from around me, but makes no other moves. His face red, his eyebrows furrow in anger, he's visibly seething.
"Let me guess," he says after about 10 minutes. "Nobody else knows?" he asks, his voice no longer hard, but soft, broken even. I shake my head, tears falling faster as he clenches and unclenches his fists, his jaw ticking.
"Goddammit Malinda!" he yells, getting up from the couch. "You can't take all this shit on your own, I know I wasn't here when shit went down, but I'm here now. If that shits affecting you like this then you need to speak the fuck up!" He picks me up off the couch, hugging me tightly. "I'll be back, I love you," he kisses my forehead.
"Shonari, no!" I try to stop him, but he was already out the door and on his way down the stairs.
