Stage 4 Fear Of Dying ✔ (Frerard)

//Chapter 2\\

"That these frames trapped all my better days.
There they stay frozen and unscathed."

Frank's POV:

So Gerard's first order of business was taking me to get coffee. I wasn't complaining. In fact, I was overjoyed, I love coffee!! But of course, I was only overjoyed on the inside, I wasn't gonna crack so much a smirk on the surface.

See, I've learnt to detach myself. From everything and everyone. Don't feel anything and then you can't care about anyone because if you care about someone and then you go and die, they feel sad and you feel guilty up on your cloud. So that's why I'm not gonna let myself get attached to Gerard.

But he's hella cute, I'm not gonna lie. He's got that 80's Dad look going for him and I'd be a sinner if I said it didn't work.

We didn't talk during the car ride up to this cute little corner coffee shop that didn't have many people but gave off a very warm, friendly and inviting vibe. Kinda like Gerard. Gerard has a coffee vibe. I like it.

He held the door open for me and we sat a table next to the window in the corner next to the entrance. It wasn't seconds before a barista came skipping over to us.

"Hi there, my name is Leah, I'll be taking your orders if you guys are ready??"

Her smile was bright and never faltering as we both ordered coffee with two sugars and creamer. And what's more, it was genuine. It was real. And for just a second I felt envious of her happiness. She wasn't dying. She was okay. And she came back later with our coffees. Same smile. Same happiness. And yet it was her happiness that made me sad.

"So, what do you do then??" Gerard spoke up.

"Huh, I'm sorry, what??"

"Like, do you have a job or something?? Live with your girlfriend, or parents even??"

"Oh, I, actually don't have a job. I don't see the point. Same as driving a car I guess. I mean, what's the point, I'm gonna die so really it's just a waste of time. And I live on my own. Well, I have a cat, his name is Fun Ghoul."

"Cute name. Weird, but cute. So, how come you don't have a lovely lady in your life, a good lookin' guy like yourself??"

"I'm gay."

Gerard almost spat out his coffee and he choked on it. I waited patiently for him to swallow it, although slightly raising my hand to shield my face if he decided to spit it at me.

"Are you okay??" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah, it's just...well to tell you the truth I'm a little surprised. You don't give off the uh...gay vibe."

"Not like you do."

"Well, I mean, uh...yeah, I guess. I'm a very...expressive kinda guy. I like to let people know who I am. If they like me, they like me. If they don't, they don't. And I accept their opinions and move on with my life."

"Wow, you've got it all figured out for you huh??"

"Well...not really. I have my present as it comes, my past is said and done. But...I don't have a vision for my future yet. I'm not sure what I wanna do. Maybe something with comics. I don't know."

"You'll figure it out. Just be patient, it takes time."

"Thanks."

"No problem. I mean, if you have the time, then use it to your advantage. If you wanna waste it, then go ahead and screw up. But you could also make the most of it. Move slowly. Put caution and strategy into your footsteps, but at the same time, don't look where you're going. Your heart knows what it wants and it will lead you in the right direction if you just let go and let it happen."

"That was very inspirational."

"I have a lot of nice things to say pent up inside of me. It's just that I never have the opportunity to say them."

"How come??"

I looked at him in disbelief.

"Well, if you recall, I'm dying. I'm dying and I'm not happy about it. So I'm not happy with the world. People don't care about me. I don't care about people. Simple."

"Well...if it means anything to you at all...I care about you."

I was at a loss for words. It's been so long since I've heard anything along the line of someone actually gives a damn about me. Everything inside of me screamed that he was lying and that I should just deny it and walk away like the miserable fuck I am. But for once, I was gonna take the opportunity to be happy. If Gerard is what leads me to happiness in my short end, then I'm not gonna let him go. I wanted to be happy again. And in this short span of time from group therapy to this coffee shop, I think I may have found it.

Gerard was my source of happiness.

And shit I think I just let myself get attached.