Tainted: Hearing Is Not Listening (Book 2)

ONE

                I was crying from the punch. Not because of his words. I was crying from the punch.

“You rejected me, or did you forget that? You told me you didn’t want anything to do with me and told me that I disgusted you. What are you doing here then? Making a scene and yelling at me like this? Fucking getting angry at me for kissing another guy? What are you playing at Dustin? You kiss me and touch me one moment but the next you’re fucking telling me that I’m disgusting and that you hate me. What are you playing at, you double faced asshole?! You think I’m some toy of yours? Something you can just use and then throw away? I may be a whore, but at least I don’t lie about what I fucking am!” I yelled getting off of the floor, and standing right in Dust’s face.

“You are right, I did say that and I still mean it. You’re a disgusting little whore and I would never be stupid enough to get involved with you, plus, and get this through your think skull: I. Am. Not. Gay. You just disappoint me, because I thought those promises, what you said that night, I thought you meant it, I thought you were really going to change. But I guess you’re not. Once a whore, always a whore. And you’re right, I fucking hate you,” he seethed.

                I couldn’t stop the tears when they started to roll down my cheeks. I stared right at Dustin, though, not giving him the satisfaction of watching me hide from him. I kept my head held high and stared right into his eyes.

“Oh yeah? If I’m so fucking disgusting to you why the fuck do you kiss me? If you hate me so much, why do you fucking care if I sleep with whoever the fuck I want? How do I disappoint you if you’re supposed to not fucking give a shit about me? Do you care or do you not? Do you want me or do I disgust you? Do you hate me or do you love me? Fucking make your mind would you? And don’t worry, I’ll get back by myself,” I said wiping my tears angrily and walking away.

                I walked out of the parking lot and down the familiar streets of the city. I knew this place so well by now. I had stayed at my dad’s so often, just to escape my mom. Just to run away. I had told her I was staying over at Dust’s so she wasn’t going to expect me at home tonight. I could stay out late without worrying about what awaited me when I got home. I called a cab that was going by and it stopped a few feet in front of me. I got in and closed the door after me. I rattled off the address of a park near my house and settled into the seat for the long drive home.

                Once I got home I paid the cabbie and stepped out into the night air. There was no one in the park when I got there. It was almost ten o’clock and being the responsible little town it was, people never stayed out late. Except for me. I always stayed out late, or snuck out of my house. I was never one to sleep much and really I got a little bored of staring at my ceiling or reading; I couldn’t do much else or I’d wake my mother up.

                I started walking around, feeling my nose to check if it was broken or bleeding. I laughed bitterly when I noticed it was just a little swollen but that apart from that it didn’t even hurt. Dustin didn’t know how to throw a punch. Probably had never even punched someone in his whole life. Probably was in a hell of a lot more pain than I was, too. Punching a nose was no little thing. I hoped he was alright, even though I also thought he deserved whatever pain he was feeling. I sank into a swing and stared at my shoes.

                I tried to swallow the lump that was beginning to form in my throat when I remembered Dust’s words. I never cried. I didn’t cry when my parents got divorced. I didn’t cry when my mother won custody over my dad. I didn’t cry when my mother hit me. I didn’t cry when they beat the shit out of me in school for being gay. I didn’t cry when Brent beat the shit out of me when they threw me out of Cinematic Paradise. I didn’t cry when Oliver almost broke my nose. I just didn’t cry, ever. Yet Dustin was always making me cry, with his switchblade attitude, the way he always acted all high and mighty, and the way he never hesitated to talk shit about me. I was sick of him and his fucking confusing actions.